Evan Hartsell: [00:00:00] I’m sharing like from my heart, like this is all, this is, this is how I’m gonna respect your daughter, you know, uh, all this different stuff. And he, he says, son, that’s, that’s really great to hear. I need to tell you something. I said, yeah. He said, if any of these things are not, I find out are not true about you, he turns around and he gets a shotgun and cocks the shotgun right in front of the video.

And he’s like, I’m coming for you.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Love stories fill us with joy and inspire, hope for the future. And a true life romance can remind us that sometimes just one spark is all it takes to change everything.

She moved to Las Vegas from Michigan after seeing a note on her professor’s desk. Never planning to stay long. Well, he noticed her from [00:01:00] across the room at admissions conference, even though he was about to go on a blind date with her friend. There was a Facebook message, Starbucks meeting to talk ministry and suddenly their story was beginning.

Welcome to Unexpected Love Stories. I’m your host, Don Kowski. I want you to get ready ’cause this is one of those tender romantic stories that will make your heart melt. Today I’m joined by Evan and Vanessa Hartsell Evan’s, a pastor at Hope Church in Boulder City, Nevada, just outside of Las Vegas. For 17 years, he served as the founder and executive director of Club Christ Ministries, a nonprofit that mentors and supports children that are growing up in some of the most underserved areas in Las Vegas.

It provided gospel centered care and educational resources. Vanessa is a dynamic speaker and author and the founder of Ignite Life, where she equips and empowers and mobilizes women in their faith. She’s been speaking [00:02:00] across the United States for the past 15 years, and they’re here with us today.

Welcome you to, how are you?

Evan Hartsell: Hey, we’re great.

Vanessa Hartsell: We’re so good. Thank you for having us.

Evan Hartsell: So good to be here.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I’m, I’m so glad that you’re here. Okay, so let’s go back to where this all started. Vanessa, you were living in Michigan and what brought you here to Las Vegas and what was your life looking at like at that time?

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah, so I was going to college at Spring ARB University in Michigan. And um, I was going into my senior year of college and all of a sudden the reality of needing a job after graduation was, was looming on top of me. Uh, I was interning in the retention office, the student retention office. And the person I was, uh, interning for, she was outta town and she said, while I’m outta town, feel free to just sit at my desk and do the work.

And, uh, one day I’m sitting there and mail [00:03:00] was delivered. And a note on her desk that had a postcard that came in the mail was for a leadership development company based in Las Vegas, Nevada. And so my degree was in communication and leadership development. Um, I’m like one of those leadership nerds. I love personal development and growth and transformation and all that, and I saw this postcard and I was like, oh my gosh, this could be.

Like where I’m going, this could be, this is like the dream job for me. So I took the postcard and went back to my dorm room. If you ask that professor, who is now a dear friend of mine, she says I stole her mail, but I choose to believe that I simply took the postcard. Back to my dorm room and I put in the website and ended up applying for a job that would land me in Las Vegas, Nevada after I graduated.

So it was wild. Um, I had never been to Las Vegas. I had never like [00:04:00] visited, I had no thoughts of ever moving to Las Vegas. Uh, but I came out for an interview and this was where I was gonna spend at least the next two years of my life.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Oh, wow. Okay. So at Evan, Evan, you. We’re already here in Las Vegas.

Evan Hartsell: Oh, what’s born on your life?

Yeah, born and raised, second generation Las Vegas native. So yeah, it was the kind of thing where I tried to get out of this town, but I could not get out of Vegas. All my friends were leaving for college and. And I, uh, I was here and I went to UNLV. And man, I was, I was just looking, uh, for meaning for purpose.

I, I didn’t really have a whole lot of that coming into college. And it was when, uh, really Jesus came into my life as a freshman in college that everything changed, all my priorities changed. Uh, all of a sudden now I just wanted to serve people. And that’s where, you know, you, you had mentioned I’d founded a.

A nonprofit [00:05:00] ministry. I, I did that while I was in college. I was 20 years old. Uh, found this community in, in a really rough part of Vegas that really just needed mentors and tutors to, to come and help the young people. And so, uh, we launched an afterschool program there, me and my friends, and little did I know that was gonna become a 17 year investment into, uh, into Club Christ.

And so I was the executive director and man, I was. I was, I was coasting. I didn’t date much, you know, and because really what I, I knew kind of coming into this, you know, kind of. Kind of thing is, is I knew that I wanted God to, to, to really write my love story that I wanted to, to make sure that I wasn’t gonna do this outta my own strength.

Do this out of lust, do this outta loneliness. That I wanted to do this because God was leading and it was really the next step for me. So I, I was [00:06:00] pretty patient and so I was single for a long time.

Vanessa Hartsell: And so it was, it was funny because I, um, had lived here for just about two years. I had said I would come to Vegas and put in my two years.

Like that was just, I feel like that’s what people do in Vegas. At least that’s what they say they’re gonna do. They’re gonna come in and put in their two years, and I just never left. I ended up staying, but I, I got a job at that leadership development company and was working there, and when I moved here, so I was raised in.

Um, a Christian home. My dad is a pastor. Uh, my parents ran an inner city Detroit ministry, so you might hear some overlap in that, um, in our stories a little bit, but that was my whole life, was. Was spent in the streets of Detroit doing ministry, doing backer bible clubs with kids, um, working with teenagers.

And, um, that was, that was my normal life. And so then coming to Vegas, the very first thought [00:07:00] I remember my dad sat me down and he’s like, the first thing you gotta do is find yourself at church. And so that’s what I did. I mean, I think it was like my. First weekend in Las Vegas and I was like, I gotta go fight a church somewhere that I can plug in and get to know people.

Um, and so I started going church to a church that every year had this event called Hope for the World. And it was an event where all these local ministry partners would come and set up tables around, and then you would kind of go shopping to see where you wanted to serve and where you wanted to be.

And. Club Christ had a ministry booth at this, this event. And so, you know, just hopping around and looking in. And so that was, um, really the first time. Maybe the second, first time that we had really seen each other. Um, but Evan saw me, but I didn’t see him, if that makes any sense.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. She got on my radar quick.

Uh, I was watching her [00:08:00] kind of just work the room. Uh, this was a big open kinda area with all these different ministry Boost and stuff, and I was like, Ooh, that girl really is outgoing and she seems like she loves people and she must be, uh, she must. Be connected here and on mission if, if really she’s, she’s bouncing around the room like that.

Well, I was watching her while the same time I was being set up with her best friend, which to this day is kind of crazy. ’cause we are still friends with, we’re

Vanessa Hartsell: we’re sweet, sweet

Evan Hartsell: friends. Yeah. With um, with this, this girl that I hadn’t, hadn’t. Really known at all. But she was, we had a mutual friend who was like, look, you guys both love kids and you guys need to meet, you guys are both single about the same age.

And I was like, sure. So the first time I actually had met her, which was Vanessa’s best friend, was at that same missions conference. So she comes up to me, we’re small talking, and the whole time I’m thinking [00:09:00] about this other girl, well, which is crazy. Vanessa still this day does not think that that is true, but it is true.

It is true. And so, uh, so yeah, so I go on this blind date and I show, you know, it’s, it’s me and her and, and my friend and and his wife. And the whole night you could just tell, it’s, it’s just, it’s just not gonna work. And so, um, we, we, we left and I just wanted to make it super clear. I was like, you know, how do I tell her that I’m not, not that into her and.

I wrote her this, was it? An email? An

Vanessa Hartsell: email.

Evan Hartsell: I wrote her an email and it was, I mean, it was just very straightforward, kind, hopefully, uh, she

Vanessa Hartsell: was a total jerk

Evan Hartsell: on her side.

Vanessa Hartsell: I remember sitting with my friend and she’s like reading this email to me that she receives. And we’re like, gosh, he could have just not called, but instead he told you that like, you are not the [00:10:00] girl for him. And so we’re sitting there like, oh, this guy like, Ugh. It’s so funny.

Evan Hartsell: Apparently you’re not supposed to send emails after blind dates.

Uh,

Vanessa Hartsell: just one

Evan Hartsell: lesson learned.

Vanessa Hartsell: It’s just one. We were like, you don’t have to break up with her. You went on one date,

Evan Hartsell: thought I was, I. Anyways, that did not go over so well. So when I then started to make my move to say, how can I get into this girl’s life? Um, I’d gotten her name from a friend and I was like, okay, I know her name’s Vanessa, so I’m gonna go on Facebook and I’m gonna look up.

Uh, Vanessa, Vanessa Van was her maiden name, and so I found her. I friended her. Uh, she friended me back, praised the Lord, and, uh, I, I saw, I was just kind of Facebook stalking her for a while. ’cause you know, you gotta get some data before you go in, um, to the next step of initiating anything. So the data.[00:11:00]

Sweep was me and my friend, uh, going through her Facebook page and seeing, okay, is she legit? Is she like, you know, having guys post all over her page? Well, apparently she had just gone on a mission trip and apparently a guy who she didn’t know started posting on all of her pictures that she was posting.

Like, like, you’re so beautiful. I can’t, this looks amazing. I can’t believe you’re doing all this. And I was like. Who is this guy That’s interesting. Who’s this guy like? Obviously very interested in, in Vanessa.

Vanessa Hartsell: Um, but I was literally on a mission trip to Zambia, Africa, and I, we made it to, I think it was London or somewhere on a layover.

And my sister calls and she’s like, Vanessa. Somebody is all over your Facebook page writing all this stuff. Like, and I was like, oh my gosh. Like I don’t have, you know, I mean it was like at the beginning of Facebook, like, we’re that old. Yeah. [00:12:00] Right. Um, and so I was like, oh my gosh, like, here’s my password.

You have to go in and delete all of this stuff that this random guy is posting all over my page. Not even knowing that he existed. Um, but he wasn’t, he saw that I was on a mission trip and so he’s like, I can’t. I can’t reach out, I can’t do anything until after she gets back in town.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. Yeah. But that was so attractive.

I wanted a girl that was gonna be on mission with me. And so to see her going on mission trip was like, wow, this girl, she is legit. So I’m definitely going to phase two. And so phase two is I sent her, uh, you know, I DM her. Direct message through Facebook and I tell her, I’m working with kids at Club Christ.

You’re working with kids. I noticed that, picked that up from her, her Facebook, um, ’cause she did different leadership stuff with teens and and stuff. And so I was like, could we meet and talk about how we can potentially work together? Work together. So I, [00:13:00] uh, we arranged it and we, we got a Starbucks, uh, coffee appointment.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah. And I remember pulling up to Starbucks and I had, I, you know, I had seen like his social media pages, I had like seen, checked in with friends, you know, that knew him or whatever. Mm-hmm. And I remember pulling up to Starbucks and being like, Lord, this man is very attractive. So if you don’t want me to see him as attractive and you want me to see him for like the mission and the purpose, like you’re gonna have to work that out kind of thing.

Like, was my thought

Dawn Pruszkowski: winders on me? Yeah.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yes. Because there was an attraction there that I’m like, oh Lord, like if I, if this isn’t supposed to be from you. You’re gonna have to fix his face or something before I get out of the car. Um, and so we went and sat at Starbucks [00:14:00] and I mean, I don’t think either one of us had any real expectation of what would come out of it.

I had

Evan Hartsell: an expectation

Vanessa Hartsell: he planned on getting a wife. Yeah. But I had no expectations. Um, um, and we sat outside of Starbucks for like three hours just talking about. About our passions and like the things the Lord had done and my background and, um, inner city work. And my parents just, um, my parents were in ministry and we, I grew up in a family that raised its own financial support.

And so what that meant was like, I mean, things were tight, but God is faithful and good. And I remember what

Evan Hartsell: that meant was. If she got with a guy that was broke,

Vanessa Hartsell: I would be okay with that.

Evan Hartsell: And in ministry that that was okay. And that just was, oh, it was music to my ears.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah.

And

Vanessa Hartsell: so there were just little things that I think throughout that whole conversation, like touched on something else inside each one [00:15:00] of us.

Um, and I, we got towards the end and, uh, Evan handed me a brochure and I was like. Is this a, he just brochure me. Like, was this, was this like a ministry conversation? Maybe this was just a ministry conversation, but

Evan Hartsell: to my defense, it had my phone number. It had my phone number on the brochure. So it was, it was like, here’s my digits, but also here’s a brochure for my ministry.

So there, there

Vanessa Hartsell: was some mixed messages.

Evan Hartsell: There’s mixed messages for sure. Uh, but that began. Phase three, which meant I could now text her. So this was, we’re coming off of social media now. Now I’m like in her phone and I’m like, all right. Let’s see what this, let’s see what this, you know, becomes, so we’re flirting, flirt, texting for a couple weeks and I’m trying to get a hangout time for us to, you know, like not, [00:16:00] I’m not taking her, you know, I’m not bringing a rose over and saying, let’s go on a date, baby.

Like. I learned that I wanted to like make sure that my friends dated whoever I was dating. Meaning like I wanted them to give me feedback on whether I was crazy thinking this, you know, all these thoughts about this girl, or whether or not like. She, you know, she was someone that they, they, they liked, they approved or whatever.

So I wanted to go on a group, group hangouts, and I kept just on it, on it, on it, and she kept just, just saying, no, I’m too busy. I got stuff going on, all this different stuff. So I was getting a little discouraged. So one day she sends me this text as Nick,

Vanessa Hartsell: we did, we did hang out with a group of people. We did like a game night initially.

Evan Hartsell: This was before this. That was after we talked. Um, I asked her if she can come over and she’s like, actually, I have surgery this week. And I said, okay.

Vanessa Hartsell: She said, can I, can I bring you [00:17:00] soup? And I was like, this type of surgery doesn’t require soup. Like I didn’t know. I didn’t know what, what to tell him,

Evan Hartsell: but I was just like, surgery is a big deal, right?

So phase four, uh, here’s my opening to have a phone call now. So I’m, I’m, I’m like, okay, can I call you? And she’s like, yeah, totally. So I call her, that phone call began, it was like a three hour conversation, but in it, she shares what was going on with her health.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah, so I had, um, recently just been diagnosed with cancer and so I was diagnosed with cancer when I was eight years old.

Um, it was a form of cancer called Mycosis Fungoides, which was super rare. Um, in, well, it was normally found in African American men over the age of 50. And I was diagnosed with it when I was eight years old, a little white girl in Michigan. And so, um, [00:18:00] with that, there wasn’t a lot of treatment available when I was eight, um, because it was so you couldn’t use the same treatment that you would use for a grown man on a little girl.

Um, and so we just began some like. Steroid treatments, um, like, I mean, things that you don’t use to treat cancer, right? Um, just different things that they’re like, let’s try this, let’s do this first, let’s jump through. I mean, it was a very long process even getting a proper diagnosis because it was so rare.

Um, and when I was younger, uh, my parents decided that they were just gonna pray. They were gonna ask God, like, the doctors dunno how to fix this, but God, you’re the great physician. You know how to fix this. And so, uh, these cards went out all over the country asking people to pray, um, for this little girl.

And I remember when I was little getting like mail bags delivered from all over the country of people saying, we’re praying, we’re with you, we’re praying. [00:19:00] Um, and the night before I went in to see the national specialist at the University of Michigan. All of it was gone. Um, wow. We went in to see the top surgeon and he was like, there’s nothing here.

There’s nothing to be done. So that’s like where my faith journey really began. Might not be the right word, but it grew and where the roots were. And so then here I am, I’m an adult. I’m 24 years old, but this journey’s completely different. I’m living on the other side of the country. My parents aren’t there.

My, you know, like this is my journey now. It’s not the journey of my parents. And so this is all very new and there’s this cute boy who keeps asking me to like go out with him. And I’m like, I cannot drag him into this. Like this is just a lot because it’d be different if we had been dating and then it’s like, Hey, this is what, but like we’re just [00:20:00] starting even talking.

And so. I essentially on that phone call, said, you know, I, uh, the surgery was a biopsy that was being done and it wasn’t super invasive, but I knew that. There’s just a lot of emotional, mental processing that goes on with that. Um, that I wasn’t gonna be up for hanging out that I wasn’t gonna be up for, right?

Mm-hmm. Like soup wasn’t gonna fix this kind of thing. Um, and so kind of gave him the out of like, if you don’t, if you don’t, I don’t expect you to wanna go on this journey with me ’cause this is a lot.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. Well the thing that struck me when she was describing this, you know, she said God spoke to her like she had looked at at God’s word, and, and she got this, like this perspective that, um, grounded her in it and share that.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah. So Jesus, his disciples are walking down the street and. The, it’s in the Book of John, and the disciples say, why is this man blind? Is it because of his sin or the sin of his parents? And [00:21:00] Jesus responds and says, neither one, this man’s blind. So that the glory of God would be made known through him.

And as I was reading that, the perspective came into me like this has happened so that God can get glory for my life, whether it’s in my healing or whether it’s in my sickness. God wants all the glory. And so that was my perspective as we went through this journey. Like, okay, God, make this a platform that I can make your glory known to the rest of the world.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. So hearing that I was like, that’s. Y that’s character, right? That’s wisdom. Yeah. That’s that, that’s that. Um, since the someone’s been walking with God and to kind of enter in our story, beginning at such a vulnerable point, I think really, um, connected us at a heart level really quick. Uh, I was struggling with some things, uh, even leading the ministry.

I, I felt like I was kind of at a point of burnout. Uh, it’s really hard [00:22:00] starting a ministry from scratch in a, in a city like this. And so I was this feeling like, just like, man, what am I gonna do next? And was able to share that with her. I didn’t share that with anyone, and she was the first one that I opened up to about that.

And it just really made us. Just connect in a deeper way, which was, which was remarkable for someone we hadn’t even been on our first date and we were just that much like that open with one another.

Vanessa Hartsell: So I think, like, I didn’t communicate this with him, but I’m pretty sure when he was like, no, I wanna walk this with you.

I was like, we should probably get married, like in my head. Because you know, you just know like when someone’s willing and choosing you. When, when they have the out, when they could leave, then, then you’re probably gonna be the person that I marry, even though the first date hadn’t happened yet.

Evan Hartsell: Mm-hmm.

Vanessa Hartsell: And so Evan, um, called my dad. I mean, not right after that. We had gone out a [00:23:00] couple of times and then he, um, called my dad and asked.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah.

Vanessa Hartsell: Permission to date me.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. I had read a lot of books on courting, which is kind of just making sure you’re including, you know, um, whoever you, you date, you know, make sure their parents are involved.

And I knew her parents were just a significant part of her life and her faith journey. And I knew that they were in Michigan and I wasn’t gonna fly to Michigan to, to ask their blessing or, you know, just to introduce myself and, um. I was like, okay, let’s, let’s do this over video call. And that was back when Skype was a thing.

And, and you know, they, they show up on the video screen and I’m just kind of sharing who I am to them. And, uh, they’re asking some questions here and there, and. You know, I didn’t know that her dad is really like a prankster, jokester guy, uh, until that phone call. And so he’s, he’s just like, you know, like a typical kind of like, [00:24:00] pastor.

Pastor, like, likes to poke a little bit. And so he’s got, he’s got these jokes. So I’m sharing like from my heart, like, this is all, this is, this is how I’m gonna respect your daughter, you know, uh, all this different stuff. And he, he says, son, that’s, that’s really great to hear. I need to tell you something.

I said, yeah. He said, if any of these things are not, I find out are not true about you. He turns around and he gets a shotgun and cocks the shotgun right in front of the video and he’s like, I’m coming for you. That

Dawn Pruszkowski: was crazy.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. So it was, it was hilarious. Yeah, it was awesome. I wasn’t sure though, at first I was a little freaked out ’cause I wasn’t sure if he was serious or not.

But after everyone left, I was like, okay, I’m gonna be all right.

Vanessa Hartsell: He, he had probably been planning this for like days, you know what I mean? Like, he knows, he set up the meeting and he’s like, and then I’m going to get my shotgun out. Yeah. He, [00:25:00] he had a planned,

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love dads. I love dads. Yeah. So we ended

Vanessa Hartsell: up dating for, we just, um, talked to our kids about this actually this morning.

Our love story and, and the timeline of everything. Yeah. Um, so we ended up dating for a year. Um, and then I went, I did a lot of public speaking and a lot of school assembly programs and women’s ministry conferences and things like that. And so I flew to North Carolina to do a program at, um, a school, and I didn’t know that Evan had like a whole thing set up.

For me in North Carolina.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah, so this is the end of the summer. I had bought the ring at the beginning of the summer and guys who bring B buy rings too early or are fools. ’cause you know, you’re just like, ah, you’re just wanting to do it. But I also knew, so some. Some women want engagements that are quiet and private.

That’s not my [00:26:00] wife. She’s not quiet and private. So, um, I was like, I gotta be public. I gotta be some, I gotta set up something. I gotta surprise her and I gotta make it to where her family’s there. And so all of this culminated to this trip and I was like, okay, that’s the perfect time. I planned it to where, um.

I flew in and her brother-in-law picked me up in the airport, took me directly to this spot that we all kind of planned, would be really cute to do it at. It’s this French cafe right outside of Charlotte, or right in downtown Charlotte. And, uh, I had already called ahead to this restaurant and I said to the restaurant, ’cause I saw on their, on their website that they make these, these bride and groom

Vanessa Hartsell: chocolate covered,

Evan Hartsell: chocolate covered strawberries.

And I was like, I want you to, to make that for me, and I want you to put on that, that plate in chocolate. I choose you. And they’re like, yeah, we’ll totally do it. Because that was something we talked about as, as we went through, you know, our, our dating [00:27:00] time. Just that, that kind of meant I love you is that I choose you and.

I asked when I got to the restaurant, I was like, okay, I just flown across the country.

Vanessa Hartsell: He literally got off the plane and went straight there,

Evan Hartsell: straight there, went to the, you know, the counter, and I was like, okay, you got my strawberries. Like, oh yeah, yeah. I was like, can you send those to that table and then I’m gonna, I’m gonna come out.

So they did. And, uh, this is all I, uh, it’s all, this is all also recorded, so we have this on, on YouTube, but uh, the person brings it in. And she freaks out.

Vanessa Hartsell: Well, they, so to get me to this cafe, my family had told me that it was my sister’s friend’s birthday and it was not, but they were like, oh, come to this cafe, like it’s her birthday party and we’re all just gonna go meet up at this cafe.

And I was like, okay. You know, and so the, this waiter or whatever comes out and says, is Vanessa [00:28:00] here? Is Vanessa here? And I’m like. Oh no, it’s not my birthday. It’s Theresa’s birthday. Like, no, no, not me. And they’re like, is Vanessa here? Is Vanessa here? And I’m like, you know, like, oh my gosh, this is humiliating.

And so they handed me this plate of, of strawberries, and I am. So embarrassed. ’cause it’s not my birthday that I put it to the side and I’m like, ha ha ha ha ha. Like, I don’t even like actually look at the plate because I just, she totally messed it. Am so embarrassed. And as I’m like high pitched squeal, laughing, like this is the most embarrassing thing in my life.

Um, Evan is directly behind me.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. So I get everyone’s attention in this crowded cafe literally. 40, 50 people in this room. And I say, I can I get everyone’s attention? I got something that I want to say to, uh, to Vanessa here, and I’d written a poem, and I love [00:29:00] writing poetry. It’s just something that I do, uh, off and on.

And so I wrote this poem and I read it to her and it was just, just telling her how much I, I, I loved her and that how she. She got me. And so because she gets me, she gets to get me, um, if she would, you know, have, have, uh, if I could get her hand in marriage. And so, um, I kneeled in front of everybody, everyone clapped, you know, I, you know, as I’m asking her.

To, to marry me and I get up. And the crazy thing is, so this cafe had a violinist in the corner. I didn’t notice her, I didn’t plan for her to be there. Immediately after I get done, she starts playing. My heart will go on the the Titanic theme song as we’re embracing each other in this cafe. I mean, it was just like, it

Vanessa Hartsell: was picturesque.

Evan Hartsell: It was so cool. Just icing on the cake kind of thing. And. It was neat because her family got to [00:30:00] be there. We got to take some really cool pictures while we were there and it was just really special and she was so surprised.

Vanessa Hartsell: And so we are coming up just next week, we will be celebrating 14 years of marriage.

So exciting.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Have you lived an unforgettable love story? We wanna hear it. And unexpected love stories. We’re collecting real stories of love that came out of nowhere or changed everything, whether it started with a glance, a prayer, or a second champ. Your story matters and it could inspire the world.

Visit unexpected love stories.com and share your love story today because the world needs more stories like yours.

Wow, that’s so sweet. Okay, I’ve got a question. A couple of questions. One, how, what is our, how long was this from? [00:31:00] Pursuing her to, to a proposal.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. We had, it was about a year of, of dating and doing all the things,

Vanessa Hartsell: so we packed like a cancer diagnosis Yeah. And all this other stuff into about a one year, a one year timeframe.

And then we were engaged for about six months before we got married.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Okay. And the cancer diagnosis. What,

Vanessa Hartsell: so it was

Dawn Pruszkowski: what

Vanessa Hartsell: happened from the biopsy? It was, so I, um, I started a treatment, um, and they had told me I was gonna be on this treatment plan for about 50, 55 days. 53 I think was like the actual amount of days.

Um, and so I just kept. Like clinging to the word that the Lord had given me, that you know, that through this, his glory would be made known. And in that time I did a lot of like speaking engagements and I think there’s something powerful about being able to share [00:32:00] your story when you’re still in it, not having totally come out on the other side.

And so it was just a sweet, sweet time. Um, and I’m day 53. Uh, I woke up that morning and I still had, um, so this type of cancer is in your T-cells and so it moves throughout your body, so it’s not something that they can just remove. Um, but it, it shows that it manifests itself on your skin. And so when I woke up that morning on day 53.

I still had all the lesions on my body. Um, and so I went to the doctor’s office, got my gown on, laid on the table, and the doctor walks in and lifts up my gown and says, looks like the treatment worked. And literally there’s not a lesion on my body and. God, just like I always say when I get to heaven, like the question I’m gonna ask Jesus is like, why’d you have to like walk everywhere you went?

Because in the Bible it’s [00:33:00] like, and he walked and he got there just on time and that’s what God did. Like he walked into the room at just the right time and healed my body. And since then I have not had. Any, any cancer in my body and praise the Lord. That was a lot of years ago. Yeah. Um, and so to celebrate I called Evan.

And I was like, we have to celebrate, right? Like I’m cancer free. And he said, what do you wanna do? And I said, I wanna go see the movie Tangled at the movie theater and I wanna go eat cake. And so that’s what we did.

Evan Hartsell: We had this huge piece of cake too. Huge. I mean it was like 14 layers. Where was it

Vanessa Hartsell: from? A claim jumper.

Oh my goodness. If ever had their chocolate cake, it’s like this tall. It’s

Evan Hartsell: huge.

Vanessa Hartsell: And I remember the waiter came over to the table and he’s like. You guys are celebrating something like there’s just love and joy, just like oozing from your table. And so we told him and he’s like on the house and went and got [00:34:00] this giant piece of chocolate cake and warmed it down in front of us.

And so it was, it was the kindness of God, because I know normally that’s not the story and the timeline of cancer like 53 days is nothing. Um. And God allowed that to be our story and that Evan got to be there at the beginning of it and at the conclusion of it was just, um, just the kindness of God that we got to do that whole thing together.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love that. Okay. So now you’ve surprised her. She said Yes. I take it. To your proposal? She

Evan Hartsell: said, yes, praise the Lord.

Dawn Pruszkowski: And how long until the wedding and was the wedding in Las Vegas or was it in Michigan?

Evan Hartsell: Yeah, we had two weddings. So we did have two wedding. First one was here, second one in Michigan, and that took about, it was about six months after that.

And, [00:35:00] uh, it was a whole lot of, whole lot of asking for favors. Uh, we were paying for it for ourselves, ourselves. And, uh, with that kind of budget, you just, you kinda, instead of giving us a gift, can you please bake some, some cupcakes for us? Or can you help us with some photography or, you know, like there’s, there’s, thankfully we had some really incredible people in our circle that stepped in and really helped us.

Throw really a huge wedding on a dime

Vanessa Hartsell: because we love, I mean, both of us, although I’m the extrovert and Evan’s the introvert, both of us love people just dearly. And so we had about 300 people at our wedding in Las Vegas and a lot of the people who had just invested so much in me in my childhood and my teen years that I grew up in the church and like.

These people who had walked with me most of my life, many of them could not come to Las Vegas. And so [00:36:00] we were like, oh, but like you get to be a part of this. Like this is the fruit of your prayers. This is the fruit of your investment into my life. Like we want you to be a part of it. And so it was really sweet.

At my, um, bridal shower in Michigan, everyone was asked to bring a broach. And so we collected all those broaches and put them in my wedding bouquet. And so I got to carry like all those people with me. Um, the day of the wedding, which was really, really special.

Evan Hartsell: There was a couple other special things about that day, so.

I am getting ready with my groom’s man. There’s eight of ’em. So there’s eight people on each side standing up for us

Vanessa Hartsell: because we love people.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah. So one of ’em was a club Christ Kid London, who I invested into and mentored. That was the first wedding he’d ever been to. And, uh, just love that he got to experience that with us.

But, um, yeah, so I’m getting ready and I, I get, there’s like a knock on the door and it’s. It’s my mom, isn’t it? Yeah. My mom was [00:37:00] there with an iPad and she said, Vanessa sent me to to share this with you. Can you, can you come with me? And I said, okay. So we go in kind of the other room and it’s just me in this iPad, and she’s like, press play.

And she walks out the room and I said, okay. So I press play and it’s this video that Vanessa had made for me, and it’s her kind of walking up and sitting down and she’s got this, this journal in her hand. She starts explaining it.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah, so I was gifted a journal when I was, I think I was 16. Um, and it was called the Wait for Me Journal by Rebecca St.

James. And, um, it had prompts and you would write letters to your future spouse. Um, I didn’t do it daily or anything like that. I mean, ’cause I was 24, 25 when we got, when I got married, when we got married. We weren’t both 25 is what I was trying to say. I was 25, he was older than me. Um, but I didn’t write all those, you know, days in a [00:38:00] row.

But whenever, like in college, I would just be like, oh, like I wish I knew who this guy was. You know, I’d pull out that journal and write notes in it. Um, and it would give prompts for different days and just some of like. Oh, I, I thought I, I thought I was dating you and it turns out I wasn’t. Right. Like me and a boyfriend had broken up and it’s like, man, like he, here I am waiting for you though.

Here I am. You know? Um, and so along with that, I was given a ring, um, that was just, I guess you would call it a promise ring. Um, a purity ring, A ring that would just signify that I would. Remain pure until I found my husband, until we were married. And so those things kind of went hand in hand together of, um, I think sometimes when you’re given like a purity ring like that from your parents, I know people don’t really do that anymore.

Um, but it, it becomes a promise to the ring and not to a [00:39:00] person. And by connecting these two things together, my promise was to a person. And so I could write letters to that person and I could, like, he could do life with me. Before I knew who I was waiting for as opposed to a promise of something I wasn’t gonna do.

Um, and so I got to just share all that with him, uh, in that video. Yeah.

Evan Hartsell: And it was in a, a, a kind of borrowed church, uh, that we got to, we got to have the ceremony in. But what was special at the end of the ceremony, I mean, for most couples, you know, when they say, you know, now you may kiss the bride. I mean, that’s a cool way to cap off the, the.

Uh, wedding. But for us, that was extra special. ’cause that was honestly the first time we kissed each other. We had not kissed the entire time that we dated. That was a boundary I’d set early on.

Vanessa Hartsell: It was not my idea.

Evan Hartsell: Yeah.

Vanessa Hartsell: It was that.

Evan Hartsell: So I had just made some mistakes in the path passed and, um. You know, for me, just [00:40:00] like an on-ramp to the freeway, what do you do on an on-ramp?

You know, you accelerate. That’s what was, was what kissing was for me, is it’s, it just led to other things. And so I just didn’t want to, um, put her in a position where she felt compromised. And so, uh, yeah, our whole time we snuggled, we held hands, but we never kissed. So, um, it, it honestly, as we look back.

One, it didn’t, it doesn’t seem like very long of a time now that we’ve married all this time, but two, we really were forced to have more conversations because you couldn’t just make out, and the physical didn’t get in front of that emotional connection that we had. And I think we got to really develop really a, a stronger friendship because of it.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah. Yeah.

Evan Hartsell: And it was hard though. It was so hard

Vanessa Hartsell: in the moment. In the moment it was so hard, like the hardest thing we’ve ever done. But it’s, we’ll say to each other, like, remember when we used to not kiss? And we’re both like, no, like you, [00:41:00] we don’t. It’s like a blip on the radar. It was like a sacrifice worth making, and we don’t believe that.

That’s something that is like what everyone should do, right? It’s what our relationship called for to just keep us. Focused on Jesus and keeping priorities where they needed to be. And so, um, but I think God blessed it too.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah, definitely. Any other special memories from that day?

Evan Hartsell: Um. No, but our honeymoon was amazing.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Oh, kidding. Well, let’s get onto the honeymoon then.

Evan Hartsell: No, I mean, you know, it was one of those things that, like my parents said, look, I know you guys are paying for this. Uh, how about we pay for the, the honeymoon? And so they sent us to Maui and they’re like. We got a, we got a car rental for you too. ’cause there’s a, a road you gotta go on called the Road to Hana.

And so we show up and we [00:42:00] had been given a, uh, convertible car and that was the first time I’d ever driven a convertible. And it was just, it was this really relaxing, really nice. We spent a whole week there and our dream. Our dream is to one day go back. ’cause we have not gone back to Hawaii since that, that week.

So, but it was, it was special and it was one of those things that we’re both in ministry, we’re both really busy. Having a week off was such a luxury for us. Um, it was something that really kind of led us just to kind of unwind and, and enjoy one another. And it was really special as a gift.

Vanessa Hartsell: So what’s funny is that what we didn’t tell you was that when we were dating.

Evan and I lived one block apart from each other, and so we would walk back and forth to each other’s houses and um, Evan had a lot of roommates and I didn’t have any, and so we spent more time at my. Condo than his, because there were just always so many [00:43:00] guys at his house. Um, but it was funny. So, hi. When we got married, I moved a block over into his condo.

Um,

Evan Hartsell: we had to clean it up just a tad.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah. Because I highly don’t What happened to the

Dawn Pruszkowski: roommates

Vanessa Hartsell: into They got the boot?

Evan Hartsell: Yeah, they’re gone.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Oh, okay.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah. Yeah. The roommates left and it was just our, our place.

Evan Hartsell: No, the funny thing about that was I. Okay, so we had this neighbor, it’s a, it’s a condo, so you’re connected, you share a wall.

And we had this neighbor that had a terrible roach in, in, in infestation to the point where at one point I was, I was sitting down to eat breakfast. And I always, I always enjoy cereal for breakfast. And I get, I get my, you know, frosted Flakes and I, I pour it in my cup and out pops. Uh, cockroach and it like crawls outta my bowl off the side of the, the table.

So it, it was, it was a concern of mine that I was about to move in [00:44:00] my, my new bride to this, to this condo. And so we began praying. We said, God, if there’s any way you can move this family away from the next door, that would be incredible, before

Vanessa Hartsell: March 24th when we get

Evan Hartsell: married. So it literally was about one month away from.

Our wedding when, uh, we noticed that our neighbor starts kind of coming out of his house with some furniture, and we’re asked, we’re like, oh, what are you doing? And he’s like, oh yeah, we’re, we’re, we’re moving. And I was like, Ooh, hallelujah. Go back in. Tell Vanessa she freaks out. We’re celebrating, jumping up and down.

Uh, but yeah, another answer to prayer that just set us up for success.

Vanessa Hartsell: Yeah. Yeah. So we, we lived in a, like, I mean, right off the gate, I feel like everybody. Has their, like when we first got married, you know, kind of perspective and we, when we first got married, we lived in like 600 square feet. It was this teeny tiny little space, [00:45:00] and, uh, it was, it was what we needed, you know?

Mm-hmm. Like as much as it’s like, oh, it was so tiny and all of that stuff, it was like, it was just for what we needed and we. Didn’t use that as a reason to not have community in our lives and have people over and to all of that. And so that just became just a really special space.

Evan Hartsell: Mm-hmm. And our home has been that since, you know, it’s something that mm-hmm.

You know, when you’re in ministry, you know, you’re, you’re constantly just giving, giving and giving. And to have a home, you could go back to that, that. You can just rest and you can commune with God and you can, uh, be yourself in. That’s, that’s life giving. It is that thing that refu re refuels you as you go back out into the world.

And, um, that’s been the, the beautiful thing about, well, Vanessa and I, is that we’re so very different. You know, she, she talked [00:46:00] about how I’m an introvert extrovert, so she’ll be out there, she puts conferences on, um, all the time, all kinds of events with Ignite Live. She gets home from those and she’s buzzing.

She’s like, buzz like, wants to tell me all about it. And she’s. She just loves every minute of it. You know, I come home from church and I, I, I said, I need to take a nap. And so, uh, but with that, what we found, especially early on when we were dating, was that we had these, these deep, deep values and convictions that matched, that these things that we care deeply about were shared.

And so there wasn’t. There wasn’t a point where we ever kind of felt like we were going in different directions. It, it helped unify us. It really was, you know, clear that God had prepared both of us individually before we even met each other. To come together as one. And, uh, it’s, it’s, it’s incredible now ’cause we get to see the fruit of that in, in our parenting.

You know, like when you [00:47:00] get married, you, you don’t know what’s next and if you even can’t have kids. And thankfully God’s blessed us with three of ’em. And so now we get to lead out of that strength in our marriage. And we just taught a parenting class where we just talked about, look. Before you even think about discipling your kids, disciplining your kids, raising your kids, like you gotta invest into to the primary, the, the, the first relationship under your relationship with God, which is your marriage.

And so we, we make that a priority even now, today we do date nights. Uh, we make sure that we, uh. Do date afternoons now that our kids are, are old enough to kind of stay home where we just go grab coffee together and, uh, we just, we, we really are intentional about making sure that we continue to love each other.

We continue to grow in our affection for one another, and we continue to discover who each other’s, you know, who we are and, and each other’s interests. And so, uh, it just is, it’s worked really well. It’s been a blessing. Mm-hmm. [00:48:00]

Dawn Pruszkowski: So, is there anything, I know God’s been writing such a beautiful story with you guys, and there’s like so many new chapters that he’s put into your, the story of your life, um, after the last few years.

Uh, is there any of those things that you wanna share with us? The things that you’ve been doing?

Evan Hartsell: Yeah, I mean, there’s, there’s a lot of ups and downs, you know. Um, I think it. You know, every person’s gonna have a few major transitions in their lives, you know, where literally it feels like the room’s spinning around you and you don’t, you can’t get your bearings. And there’s been a couple of those, you know, for both of us where we’ve just felt out of place and there’s this one point, and it was, it was really cool where I was kind of.

I was kind of in between, uh, churches. It, it, it really was a sense that I was like feeling [00:49:00] called out of a church. I didn’t know where I was called to quite yet. And, uh, I, I couldn’t sleep. I was having all kinds of stress.

Vanessa Hartsell: And if there’s anything you need to know about Evan Hartzel, it’s that he can sleep.

Like when Evan can’t sleep, the world might be ending. Jesus might be

Evan Hartsell: coming back. Yeah. Sleep has never been a problem for me. Uh, but. What Vanessa did. She’s like, look, we need to get some of these people who have been our mentors. ’cause we have couples that we look up to, that we’ve walked with. Just love the Lord, uh, are solid in, in their marriages, um, in our lives, and we’ve invested into those relationships.

So she’s like, look, I think we need to draw, you know, take a, uh, draw from those, those relationships, um, to invite them to pray over our situation and what’s going on. And so we filled the room with about four couples that were just dear to us, and we just said, look, here’s the situation. [00:50:00] I know we’ve been praying about this individually, but can you pray with us, uh, collectively?

And, and they said, oh, we would love to. And man, we went to the throne of gods together and they prayed so hard. And you know, you want a charismatic brother or sister in the room when you’re going through something ’cause they know how to pray. And, uh, man, we were just, we were just so encouraged by that.

And it really just showed that. We need each other, but we also need our community. You know, it’s, it’s our love story. Just, you know, it, we’re anchored in this relationship, but we’re surrounded by so many people who are just kind of like the support system that, that, that hold us up and hold us together.

And those couples really were the, that support system in our life in that season.

Vanessa Hartsell: Well, and I think like every. We’re, we’re getting older and we still have a long way to go and we recognize that, but realizing that like the love story that got us here when we were [00:51:00] 20 is not this, it’s not gonna carry our love story at age 40, right.

That we have to, it, it’s there and we know it’s there, but it’s something that we constantly have to be investing in and, and re um, I don’t wanna say rewriting. It, it’s like the continuation. It has to continue written. It’s a new chapter. Yeah. It’s not something that ends at your marriage. We do. Um, Evan’s marrying a couple of couple of couples this summer and we do their premarital counseling and, and just talking to them about how like.

The wedding, like all of that is this like overflow heart and excitement. And my sister used to, I was like, oh my gosh, they’re making Google eyes at each other again, right? Like, we just like melts over all the excitement and the giddiness and the, all of that. Like, but actually your marriage starts. The day you get married, like this is all just so it’s incredible and God uses it and it’s beautiful [00:52:00] and you have to allow that story to continue being written so that you can see it to its conclusion that you can still.

Love each other. Well, and we’re just in a new season now where, um, we’re really in what they call the sandwich years, where like we’re raising our kids up, but we both have older parents and so now we get to parent our parents on the other side of it. And so we’re just sandwiched in between these two generations and it, it requires a lot more of our, on us.

Um, it requires us to lean in. Not out. And so I think just making that determination as we go into New Seasons. Um, that we’re gonna lean into one another and we’re gonna say when, like, I can’t do this today. Like, this is so hard. I need you to carry this for me. I know I normally do the laundry, but like, I can’t.

I’m done, I’m depleted. And, and, and Evan jumping in [00:53:00] and being like, I got this ’cause I know that this is how I get to support you. Like, it’s that lean in and that that’s the love story that like when I can’t, Evan does. When he can’t. I do. And, and I think that that’s the continuation of allowing God to write this story, um, in our lives, is just that, that commitment and decision to lean in instead of out.

Dawn Pruszkowski: That’s so perfect. That’s what great words of wisdom, you know, for someone who’s like, I want a great love story like theirs. It’s an ongoing. I love that.

Vanessa Hartsell: It doesn’t, it doesn’t end when you meet the person.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yes.

Vanessa Hartsell: Somebody had told us the word sanctification actually was created for marriage. ’cause you learn, I mean, when, when you’re single, there’s nothing pressing up against your life.

You know, I mean, like, not at [00:54:00] this deep level where you get married and you’re like, why do you do things like that? Why are you, what? We don’t do things that way in this house, you know? And all of a sudden, like there’s someone pressing against you and you can’t just like, ignore it. You can’t just push it to the side like you have to, or it all comes out.

Um, you have to work through things. And so just this, this idea of like, our hope is that we look more like Jesus today. Because we’re married to each other, um, that we’ve had to learn how to give and take and serve and sacrifice and love and all the things because, ’cause God’s called us to this marriage.

Dawn Pruszkowski: That’s so beautiful. I love this. I just thank you so much for sharing your cinematic love story with us. Friends. If you’d like to learn more about Evan and Vanessa, see photos from their love story and find different ways that you can connect with [00:55:00] them. Just look in the show notes for the link that says more info and photos for Evan and Vanessa.

That is going to take you directly to their page on our website@unexpectedlovestories.com. And while you’re there. Would you also download a free gift that we have for you? I think that it’s so important to keep track of your love story, and I have a really creative guide to help you track and document your love story in so many different ways, and it’s free for you.

Just download it while you’re there. Now remember, sometimes a simple moment, like a glance across the room. Or a message sent just at the right time can be the very way that God begins writing a love story that you never expected. So if Evan and Vanessa’s love story encouraged you today, would you think of just [00:56:00] one person that might need to hear it?

Maybe someone who’s walking through a hard diagnosis, someone waiting and wondering about their future, or someone who just needs a reminder that God is still writing. Beautiful stories. Share this episode with them. And while you’re here, would you take a moment to leave a like or a thumbs up rating or a, a review or a comment on this platform?

’cause it honestly helps more people discover these stories and the hope that’s inside of them. I hope that you are following and subscribed to us so that you never miss a love story. Well, I hope that your heart feels lighter and full of hope. After hearing this beautiful story, as you know, often the best love stories are the ones we never saw coming.

So keep your heart open because love truly is waiting for you. We’ll see you next time. Bye.