Lara Bianca Pilcher: [00:00:00] I’m just gonna go and be my awesome self and have fun at this party. I got dressed up, it was a costume party, and I’m like, I’m just gonna have so much fun and just show him like, it doesn’t affect me at all. You know, the way we play these games. And I went there and I was just partying and I’m like, not looking at you.

I’ve deleted you like you are,

Andrew Pilcher: you are deleted.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: You are deleted.

Andrew Pilcher: But I, I went there then with the intention of, I’m gonna, I’m gonna step in and I’m gonna fight for this woman. I’m gonna get her heart and I’m gonna tell her how I feel. And we are gonna start journey together. You know,

Dawn Pruszkowski: love stories fill us with joy and inspire hope for the future.

And a true life romance can remind us that sometimes just one spark is all it takes to change everything.

She was ready to define the relationship while he was afraid to risk it. [00:01:00] For years, their love grew quietly until one brain sentence made it undeniable. Welcome to unexpected Love Stories. I’m your host, Don Burkowski, and today I’m so honored to have Andrew and Laura Pilcher here with me. Andrew is a leading, performing arts doctor of fiscal therapy who worked with singers, dancers, actors, and musicians, all across London’s, west End, Broadway, and mini global productions.

Andrew’s a pioneer in vocal physical therapy and he serves as the director of education for the Performing Arts Fellowship at Neuro Tour. This is where he not only trains clinicians, but he also continues to work with and treat performers from around the globe. Laura’s an international performer. She’s a published author and an internationally certified professional life and creativity coach.

She’s been a performing artist for more than two decades across London, Australia, and [00:02:00] United States. Laura now helps artists reclaim their creative identity and thrive in life. She’s the host of Healthy, wealthy Wise Artist podcast, and she’s the author of the forthcoming book, audacious Artistry. This is an amazing and busy couple who also leads Creative Restoration International.

It’s a nonprofit devoted to artist re restoration and marriage restoration. Whew. Welcome Laura. Welcome Andrew. It’s such an honor to have you guys here to share your story.

Andrew Pilcher: Excited to be here.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Oh, so am I. So let’s go back to where your story begins in Perth, Australia. Obviously you were both in that creative sphere, so can you paint a picture for us of what your lives were like before you met?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We were probably at church every day of the week. We practically lived there back in, [00:03:00] back in the day, but we were both heavily involved in the performing arts. Mm-hmm. I was running actually the dance ministry and a dance school. Uh, and. In addition to that on the creative team, which organized the creativity on our Sunday services.

So it would be Easter or Christmas production. And this was a church that we didn’t, we did production. Like we, we did massive production. And I had my eye for quite some time, as you’ll find out later on this one, who was,

Andrew Pilcher: I was, uh, newly physical therapist around that time. So I was busy working five, six days a week, uh, in a clinic and was excited to start my skills as a physical therapist.

But I was a musician as well. So I was on the music team and I was a music director in the team there. So I was there quite a lot for rehearsals and services and organizing people to be there and all that sort of thing, so, mm-hmm. So yeah, I was at church a lot. I loved worshiping God. We were there just so involved and, and loved being involved.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah. And a [00:04:00] musician and a dance circle very well together.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: They really do. And we did do a lot of productions together. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A lot.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Okay. So, so you noticed him, Andrew, did you notice her this beautiful dancer?

Andrew Pilcher: Yes, I did. Indeed.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It’s hard not to notice the dancer of

Andrew Pilcher: the front of the church. I mean, she’s is and she was so beautiful and, and she did, was so involved.

Uh, she preached on, on the stage and she, she was very, um, present in, in the sphere and in what I could see, but we weren’t in the, in the similar closer friend group circles. So, uh, there was a little bit of, um. Not distance, but that, that we weren’t around each other all the time.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. We were in the same circle, but we weren’t friends, as in, we were, we would say we were acquaintances.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But we never hung out together. Mm-hmm.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We never spent time. I had my group at church, he had his, and we weren’t really hanging out or [00:05:00] having any conversations Yeah. At all. Yeah. But I noticed him.

Andrew Pilcher: I noticed her for sure.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So at what point did you. Start moving in the same circles

Lara Bianca Pilcher: or Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Can choose. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I took a little initiative in that. Um, there was a few, a few key points. One was that I had, uh, an international performer come over who many people know ’cause she’s from America. And she was hosting workshops at my dance studio.

And she was, um, they were on the, uh, the topic of dancers with physical disabilities or working with that particular area. And Andrew being a physical therapist and interested in. Working with the arts

Andrew Pilcher: and a little incident. Huh? I was

Lara Bianca Pilcher: like, well, I didn’t know that part.

Andrew Pilcher: I was like, oh, bonus. But I was really interested.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I just remember seeing you slide across one of those spitballs and I’m like, [00:06:00] that guy, that guy, he’s got something.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. But there was a lot of improv in dance, and I was interested in dance, but I never was trained as a dancer. But the whole workshop was so amazing how it could use dance around, uh, people with disability.

Mm-hmm. Um, but then we just improved a among the room, and so that had us improving around each other. So we were dancing around each other and I, I just saw a connection for her that she loved dance and she, uh, she had a bigger heart than just performing or just one thing. It was just. I just got a glimpse of like, Hey, this girl, why?

And

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I dunno if I’ve told you this, Dawn, but I got asked to do a performance for Carol’s by the Sea, which in Australia it’s summertime at Christmas. So we were doing a Christmas performance on the beach, on a stage, and I asked Andrew to play my husband. And yes, we weren’t dating, we weren’t together.

Uhhuh, but yes, Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. [00:07:00] My husband and sing this duet with me. And during that I got to choreograph it. So there was a bit of handholding and a bit of looking at each other in the eye. Guys still didn’t ask me out.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I was like,

Andrew Pilcher: I enjoyed all the time together, but I was just, I, I didn’t see it as a move towards getting together.

I, I saw it as a project that, you know, I could help her with.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I saw you as the project.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Anyway. I mean, I was the project, but, um, but you know, and then there was extra rehearsals. ’cause I was like, your your vocals, we need to work on the harmonies a bit more and let’s, let’s work with that. And she said, that’s, that’s not my forte.

That’s your forte. You know? I’m like, all right, I can help you with that. We

Lara Bianca Pilcher: spend some more time in rehearsal.

Andrew Pilcher: We spend more time, do you wanna eat? Let’s eat some dinner. Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And we had two kids, a boy and a girl playing like the younger version of us. And incidentally, years later, art reflecting life, we now have.

Two children, a boy and girl. Yeah.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So yeah, we spent time together, but boy, still didn’t ask girl out.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Mm-hmm. He’s like, [00:08:00] Mr. Darcy, have you watched Mr. Darcy in any great British film where you’ve got that not bumbling Brit and the Andrew is half British.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So there is that nature, but, but

Andrew Pilcher: I’ve worked out the bumbling bit.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: He’s not a, he wasn’t bumbling, but Mr. Darcy’s hard to read. Uhhuh. Uhhuh, he’s booty. Like he doesn’t wear his heart on a sleeve and you’re forever guessing. Does Mr. Darcy love her or not? Um, if you have any idea what I’m talking about.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: He was Mr. Darcy.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So how long did this last? You’re kind of trying to bring him into your circle and him going like, sure, I’ll work with you, but not actually seeing what. What was going on under the surface.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Three years of my long, lovely life. Three years, I was like, another new year, another new year, another new year. [00:09:00] What is happening here?

This guy’s just, just not that into me.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Look, I had no idea. I, I couldn’t read her to say, oh, she’s really into you.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I was like, toss task, come on. Like all the things.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. So whether that was just, I, I was in a real, a journey where I was growing a lot and I was focusing on that. I wasn’t with anyone and I was just focusing on how to get myself better.

My mentors were like, oh, just hold off on relationships. And I know that for at least two years at that, that was really important. I found I wasn’t in a place that I could express my emotions that clearly or that I was too aware of all that. It’s just to do with my upbringing, and that’s, that’s just my journey.

And so that was important. Um, but towards the end of that, there was a little bit of passivity on my part. There was, there were, there was a few moments when, um, I just needed to probably unpack those situations and conversations we’d had briefly or whatever and unpack it with someone to, to make sense of it.

But I was just sort of waiting off ’cause it was overwhelming probably. He,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: honestly, dawn, he didn’t know [00:10:00] if he wanted to have pizza. Oh, come on. Well, he was in love

back in the day. Like he was No, you weren’t that bad. But that’s a funny story. Yeah.

Andrew Pilcher: Right. Darcy. Darcy,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, so I, I didn’t have a good sense of of how quickly or of it all coming along ’cause I, I think I was in that, that pause. I, I’d call them more of like a freeze of like, I just. It was all a little bit, a little bit too hard to navigate all those, those things. But my mentors were a huge part of my blossoming and my growth.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Mm.

Andrew Pilcher: And um, and that was a huge part of just, um, me doing work on myself and for me, how I wanted to walk out my faith and all those things. So,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: so while I’m there going God wealth, my husband, what is happening, and I’m hitting my head on this. Steering wheel in grief about,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: This guy that I can’t read, I even went to a party and told my friends, I’m like, just like, watch him across the room and tell me if he [00:11:00] ever looks my direction.

They were like, no, he never once looked. I

Andrew Pilcher: looked like five or seven times. You know,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: something. I looked how cryptic this guy was. I

Andrew Pilcher: did

Lara Bianca Pilcher: poke a face. My, even my besties could not discern that there was any looking across the room in my direction. So, I mean, I was like. I, I was like, this isn’t, he just isn’t that into me?

Andrew Pilcher: Well, there was a good time you grabbed, uh, uh, Ronit, right? And you prayed and, and, and there was that sense of praying for this fire in his belly, you know, for this, you know, to, to pray for Oh, yes. The man that she was like, oh, I can’t

Lara Bianca Pilcher: many at Mother Goose at church was invested in my love story. Very many.

And if someone came along that wasn’t quite, they would say, Kat got the cream. Because they were like, that girl’s, the, the preacher girl, she’s on the stage. She’s the humbly the one to watch was in their opinion. I, I was like, I just wanna get a guy, [00:12:00] not just any guy, my husband, I just wanna meet my Mr.

Wright. Yeah. As it turns out, my Mr. Darcy was Mr. Andrew, but it took a while.

Dawn Pruszkowski: God had to work on him to get him to the place. Where he was ready for you. Yep.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. So when the, when you hear things like he wasn’t ready, he really wasn’t. Mm-hmm. So, but I was, and I think that that timing thing that was. One of the hardest journeys I’ve walked for sure.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Dawn Pruszkowski: We have to wait longer sometimes.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: But it’s worth the way Andrew. Huh? That’s,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: it’s worth the way. And I had a lot of offerings, but none of them I felt anything for at all. So it was, it was hard. I remember you trying to get you to rescue me in the car park at church after to get another one was chase me back to my car.

It was, there was eight of them at one time. Like, there was plenty of offers. Um, because when you’re on the stage, that does [00:13:00] happen. It, it’s because you’re just, you’re just in front of their face so they know who you are. They notice you, they see your talent that your heart for God. And, and that is attractive.

Mm. The guy in the worship team, that’s often the one that all the girls are after, you know?

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, but I was like, Andrew, save me. Talk to me, like rescue me from this, this man in the car park. Um, but he still, I dunno. I was like, why didn’t you rescue me? Like rescue me. I don’t know.

Andrew Pilcher: I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready.

But there, there wasn’t, was definitely a nature of my, my mentors knew at that, that time and, and closer friends too. Um, just to kind of have deeper conversations with them. Um, I’d love to listen and I’d be very good at listening and helping people process. Um, I’m very good at that. I’m a helper as a person very much.

Um, but, but for people to hear a bit more about me or for me to be vulnerable and share, they were like, I didn’t think you’re ready for that yet, Andrew. You know, so I, so that could have been devastating. That could out of the right timing could have been, you know, [00:14:00] completely devastating. So, so there’s a, there’s was wisdom in the weight, blessing in the weight, but, um, yeah, and, and it’s complicated.

Like I was definitely passive in that last bit of it all. Um, and to really push things along and needed a big nudge from this one,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: a nudge I did.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So what was that turning point?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, there was actually, it was so fun. I mean, I tried, I tried so much. Like I even went down one time all dressed up to one of his hockey games.

He, he wasn’t even expecting me. He was wearing these short, short shorts and Addy’s hockey stick and was running around

Andrew Pilcher: it’s field hockey. So not ice hockey, hockey,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: not ice hockey. Hockey, not that. Yeah, it’s in Australia. Mm-hmm. And, um, and I went and I was like, woo, look at you. Go Andrew. And

Andrew Pilcher: I’m like, nervous as anything.

Like what

Lara Bianca Pilcher: doing, what is she doing here? I mean, I In

Dawn Pruszkowski: high heels? Yeah,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: high heels. I was trying to get on his radar, like, really, but the, the turning point really was that his [00:15:00] friend leaked the information to me one day, cryptically. It’s like, Laura, I can tell you have a crush on Andrew. You know, when they kind of trick you into talking.

It’s like those kind of things. And I was like, what is it that obvious? Um, and he was like, yeah. And I’m like, well, he doesn’t like me, so, you know, maybe I don’t, whatever. And he is like, he’s like you. And I’m like, what? He’s liked me for how long? Three years. Three years.

Andrew Pilcher: So this fire rises up within the

Lara Bianca Pilcher: dog.

I am like, now I’m mad.

Andrew Pilcher: Fair

Lara Bianca Pilcher: enough. ’cause for three years of my life, I’ve liked him back and I never knew. And I’m like, what? So I plotted a little plan that after the Christmas production, incidentally, the Christmas production, I was playing Mary and uh, he wanted to play Joseph. I

Andrew Pilcher: wasn’t joking. I wanted to play

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Joseph.

He was cast as Who were you? Cast as?

Andrew Pilcher: Aya.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: He wanted to, to play opposite me. Uh, um, but he didn’t get to. But after he’s all dressed as an [00:16:00] old man and I’m like, we need to just chat after, after the performance tonight.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, she said it more like this. He was like, after this is all done, we need to talk. A little pause talk and I’m like, oh, oh, oh.

And then everything just flooded together. I’m like, you’ve been sitting on this, you’ve been sitting on that hockey moment and whatever. Just little glimpses now. They weren’t like every week, they were just glimpses. But I was like, Andrew. And I was like, oh, okay.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Somehow he knew that I was gonna corner him and he was like, Ugh.

But I was so clever. Like I was um, very intentional with my words in that little catch up after church was rather hilarious. ’cause we went back to his house. He was still living with his mama. Mm-hmm. And um, she was like serving like we prawns with you. You call them, you think we call them shrimp, but prawns, you know, at Christmas time.

And she was getting all the food out and all

Andrew Pilcher: sorts of seafood

Lara Bianca Pilcher: and we’re like, go away. Go away. Because we have to have a talk. Yeah. But she was entertaining as [00:17:00] mamas do when a girl comes over. ’cause you wanna meet the girl. But she did go away respectfully, eventually. And I just said, look Andrew. And I had rehearsed this.

I didn’t tell him I liked him at all. I just said, I’m getting a lot of mixed messages from you. Can you tell me what’s going on? Silence.

Andrew Pilcher: And so I was like, do I do I do I share it all, do, what do I do? And I was like, all right. I just, I think I’ve gotta do it. So I dove in and just said, I’ve been crazy for you for three years, but I’ve been on a, a journey.

I’ve been, it’s been hard. I’ve been, I’ve felt like there’s, I’ve needed to wait, but. Yeah, I like you like crazy.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: He said, I’m crazy about you. And I said, I’m crazy about you too.

Andrew Pilcher: And I was like, oh.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: But we still did not get together after that moment

Andrew Pilcher: because I had such respect for her. So she was preach to girl, she’d preach a lot.

She was, um, there was a lot of connections to other ministers around the city or interstate in Australia. So she had great respect. And [00:18:00] so I was like, this is a girl. You don’t blow it, don’t,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: you don’t stuff up with this girl.

Andrew Pilcher: You don’t stuck around with this, you know, and, and

Lara Bianca Pilcher: the whole church. Why you,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah.

And, and I got a, and probably it was the, the view of myself that it was a bit of like, oh, like Andrea, you’re, you know, you’re not there, you’re not, um, you know, good enough, you’re not ready or whatever, ready or whatever else like that. So there was a bit of like image of myself, you know, playing, playing in part.

So, but all in all, it added to that passivity in that place. So I did the very Christian thing and I said, well. You know, it’s obvious we can’t talk about the weather anymore, but, um, I need to go away and pray about this. I thought that was the, the strong manly, you know, the strong thing to do. Um, she said, go away and pray.

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, that conversation ended well. It was like thing, but still I felt this like weight, but that was just my nerves. That was my, you know, shyness that was real, a real fear around this, you know, doing things wrong. So I went away and prayed, um, and then

Lara Bianca Pilcher: you

Andrew Pilcher: fasted as well. Fasted and prayed to the thing and, which was great, you know, but I just, I felt all [00:19:00] this, um, this, this good sense that my growth where I need to get, you know, um, better and, and, and grow as a man and all these, these things, I got a, a sense of, which is great.

Um, but long and short, I go to my mentors saying like, Ugh, I, I, I, I didn’t know what to do with this. This is what I feel from God. And I did come to her. We have a talk about that. So I felt I interpreted very wrong, interpreted that that meant I need to, to grow more. You know, I needed to get better and stronger and because I didn’t wanna stuff this up.

And so it’d end with like, whatever. I don’t know

Lara Bianca Pilcher: it. Yeah. It’s

Andrew Pilcher: so bad.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: That was a really hard time for me because you see these films, like he’s just not that into you. And so I’m reading that, that silence. Mm-hmm. And that mm-hmm. I don’t feel God’s in it. ’cause I’d use that excuse on eight guys. I just don’t sense that it’s God’s time for me.

So I’m like, that’s the oldest Christian trick in the book. And it could be true, but quite often that’s like the excuse that I would [00:20:00] give. And it just meant, I’m just not that into you. So I was reading that back and he had told me he was crazy about me. Mm-hmm. And I was just confused. So I was like, I am not waiting anymore.

I deleted his number.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I put my head on the steering wheel literally and just cried before God. I mean, I was like, Lord, I, I’m devastated because I got so close to the man I’ve been crazy about and it’s still not happening. And now it’s just blurry and now it’s gray and I can’t do gray. I can’t live in gray.

And so I deleted his number and I’m like, I’m getting on with my life. And um, there was a party coming up at church and it was a New Year’s party. And you know what? Me and New Year’s, I had a thing, ’cause New Year’s kept going past where I wanted to be with him. So, and because we always performed together at Christmas, I could tell how many years were going by that I had liked this guy that didn’t like me back.

[00:21:00] Um, but what was so funny is that that New Year’s Party really changed a lot.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm. So I went away from that conversation completely flustered and uh, you know, obviously, and I think I was wrapped in fear. I just couldn’t tell it. And I was overwhelmed. So I went to my mentor that was been so, so amazing in my life.

And, um, and so he just was looking at me with this face of like, what. What are you doing? So I’m like, what’s the face about? What’s going on? What, what am I gonna, and we’re like, he’s got young kids. So we are shopping in his store with him and I’m hanging out with him just to grab any time with him that I can.

And he got home and he was like, Andrew, oh my gosh. What did you say to her? He said, Andrew, look, this is simple. This is guy likes girl, girl likes guy. What are you waiting for? And his wife says, don’t you think all those things that you feel you wanna grow in that she’s gonna help you? And I’m like, uh, like idiot.

And I, and I [00:22:00] was just, and I, that was my turning point of like, I’m wrapped in fear and I can step out of that. Or I can get the little bit of courage I have to, to just walk a different way and walk with strength. And that’s fear. This is freedom. And so there was some sense of, of something that shifted in me in that one conversation that was so powerful.

So we go to this party,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I’m teary remembering this, just sat here because it was so, so hard. Yeah. And I know that a lot that you would understand that, um, because you are not getting any of that, what he’s sharing. I didn’t have anything. It’s just silence and it’s just hard. And you are watching the years go by and you’re watching your friends get married and you have this almost maybe, and then.

Nothing. And in all of that, I kept turning to the Lord and I kept praying, but I was also like, God, do you really have some, I had no certainty. I didn’t have that sense of it’s about to turn. I didn’t have that sense. [00:23:00] And even to make it worse, there was one woman at church, well-meaning, who said, I sense it’s gonna be a bit longer for you yet.

I’m like, that is not a word of encouragement.

Andrew Pilcher: No, no, no.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Her, you know, turns out she was wrong because it happened the next week. Yeah. So, um, it was wrong, but that was, you know, you’ve gotta be careful with these things ’cause that she was, that was her story. Um,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And that had happened for her. And she was, I still respect her.

She was a lovely woman. But, um, it’s that thing where I think they mean well. Mm-hmm. But only God knows. Um, and I, I didn’t, um, but I went to that party. My friends were encouraging me and they were just like, Lara. And I’m like, I’m gonna just go and be my, and I mean. Like, I have a lot of confidence, but it doesn’t mean I’m not hurting.

But I’m like, I’m just gonna go and be my awesome self and have fun at this party. I got dressed up, it was a costume party, and I’m like, I’m just gonna have so much fun and just show him like, it doesn’t affect me at all. You know, the [00:24:00] way we play these games. And I went there and I was just partying and I’m like, not looking at you.

I’ve deleted you like you are,

Andrew Pilcher: you are deleted.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: You are deleted.

Andrew Pilcher: But I, I went there then with the intention of, I’m gonna, I’m gonna step in and I’m gonna fight for this woman. I’m gonna get her hard and I’m gonna tell her how I feel and we are gonna start journeying together, you know? So we went to this party, my sister was there, and um, she was a bit unwell and I had to take her home.

Um, uh, so it’s

Lara Bianca Pilcher: New Year’s Eve, so it’s like New Eve. You wanna take your sister home? Okay.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. But then I was like, okay, I have to just drop her home and I’m gonna come back to the party, but. I really wanna talk to you, I want you to come with me. So there was this strength in me that was like, that felt like, you know, riding a bike without training wheels, like I’m freewheeling and like, this is new for me, but I’m like, I’m just gonna do it.

I think this is the new me. This is it. This is my new, new thing. And so I think she’s like, okay, yeah, cool. Let’s do this.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I had no idea what he was gonna do, [00:25:00] to be honest.

Andrew Pilcher: And I just laid it out saying, I’m sorry. I, I, I don’t know. There was a lot going on for me around our last conversation, but I wanna walk with you.

I want to build a future with you. I wanna do life with you, is my words.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I wanna start to journey with you. And it was unusual language because it’s like, for him, I think if, correct me if I’m wrong, but it wasn’t like, I’m just gonna date you and see like I, there was a sense of knowing in both of us that this was.

The one like this was if, so he didn’t say, I wanna ask you to date me or whatever, and that’s fine. We are fine with all of that. Yeah. But in this particular situation, it very much felt like it’s going to go to marriage. Um, but I didn’t know that. Of course, like, you don’t know. It’s like a hindsight thing that I’m sharing, but it was like, let’s start journeying together, is what he said.

Um, and I loved that because there was no sort of that a journey’s a journey. It’s [00:26:00] like, I’m not, it’s not one and done. It’s not, I’m gonna take you out for coffee and see how it goes. It’s like, let’s start this journey. And I very much felt like, okay, they. That was the best new year. There was fireworks in my heart and fireworks in the sky because we do, we do new year fireworks.

’cause it’s summertime and it was so special. And we, I came back to that party having deleted him as a couple. Mm-hmm. And so I think everyone, we were just standing there like, what do we do now? Like, our entire community’s here. And nobody knew this was coming. No one knew it was coming.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. I was holding a hand and I could see the people looking and they were like, oh

Lara Bianca Pilcher: wow.

Andrew Pilcher: Okay.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: But it’s happening. Um, it was special. It was so special. But of course that wasn’t the proposal.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm mm

Narrator: How do you know when you’re falling in love? Join us for the Love Unexpected podcast. [00:27:00] This true life romantic journey dives into the whirlwind story of how one woman’s life miraculously transformed leading her across the sea, where she discovered the love she didn’t expect. Listen now on your favorite podcast platform.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So let’s, how long, excuse me. How long did it take for you to go into the proposal?

Andrew Pilcher: And that was

Dawn Pruszkowski: in this journey?

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. That was around 11 months. Um, and you know, I had, um, friends. I know, I know, I know, I know the face. Like what?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I was ready after one month I’m

Andrew Pilcher: on, like, she’s ready. And then I think I had this, um, another mentor figure in the music team and, and she was like, Andrew, what are you waiting for?

Come on, you know, you know, get on with it type thing. And then, but that, that journey was, uh, special. I was just reading it. There was [00:28:00] definitely a respect that she wanted me to lead, and that was part of my journey. You could see I was, um, very shy and more wrapped in fear and, and I was stepping out of that.

So there was this process where she wanted me to step up as the, the man and lead. Uh, so, uh, there was a respect where we, we just wanted to go with this, how we wanted to go with it. And we wanted, we wanted us to be the determinant, not not be told to do things, you know?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. And so, like for me, what was happening is that I was like, I need to not lead here because there’s something God’s doing in him that needs to be empowered.

And I’m, even though it’s so hard because I’m a leader and, uh, I’m confident and I had by this year, five years of my own psychology to heal my own journey. And so I was quite emotionally aware. I was like, I cannot. Lead this or push this. And my dad even said, don’t bring up marriage because you’ll scare him off.

’cause that was kind of like the [00:29:00] boomer thing with my dad. And I never once, never once mentioned marriage to Andrew and this entire time, but I thought about it probably every day. Um, but I never once ever hinted at it or said anything. So we start this journey together and it’s another 11 months. He, even in that time, his mom’s encouraging him to buy a house with his brother because the market was low and the, the grandma had allowed some money to get the deposit.

And I’m like, you’re buying a house with your brother.

Andrew Pilcher: So it was definitely a moment. I was scared

Lara Bianca Pilcher: that was, and I didn’t say anything still. I just had to take all this anxiety to God. I’m like. What about me? Like, are you ever, how am I ever gonna have a relationship with you when you just bought a house with your brother?

Not me. Like what on earth? And so it’s like 11 more months of sometimes torture, but so much love.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, but just

Andrew Pilcher: that

Lara Bianca Pilcher: [00:30:00] Mr. Darcy,

Andrew Pilcher: that investor did very well, by the way, so it was awesome. But, um, but cryptic. But, but I felt that there was moments along the way that showed me that this is the right, this is good because there was a deepening and deepening every month of vulnerability and, and that sort of thing.

We did, we would do, um, uh, devotion. Preparation and devotion work together. And we would read a book together and pray together. And, and it, it was, my mentor was really great ’cause he, he, he didn’t lay it out to, to, to say, you need to do this and this and this, Andrew. But he did say it was important to get to know the person in your heart.

And so we were very focused on heart to heart connection and just getting to know each other, like deeper just much before we jump in, um, to, to marriage. Knowing that that’s on the cards that was definitely written over us, you know, but, but I really wanted to know, like, is this gonna work well? Is these sides of me okay, can we work this thing out together?

And, um, all of those things. And it felt like falling forward off a [00:31:00] hill, like it was like,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: we both felt like we were, it’s like, am I going to fly or fall as you jump off a hill into mm-hmm. Into love not really knowing

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Where it’s gonna land and

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, that was hard. But then there was, we were doing a book, 101 questions to Ask before you get Engaged.

Andrew Pilcher: It’s a good book.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We were up to question 43. And we were at the, at the beach and I’m like, okay, obviously he’s thinking about asking me maybe ’cause why would we be doing this book that he brought for us to do because I didn’t suggest it. Um, and I’m like, well, there’s a lot of questions to go.

Andrew Pilcher: We’d, we’d done that on dates prior and we’d, we’d gone through questions and talk.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: They were great conversation starters. Yeah, great. But there was so many questions to go, but at question 43, something changed.

Andrew Pilcher: Well, a month earlier than that, I was planning and I had a dream about the ring that, um, that I made for her. And, and I was just set on it being surprised. So I, you know, I didn’t [00:32:00] want to, um, let it be, I thought it was more romantic to be.

Complete surprise for her. And so I’d set up a breakfast, uh, with her dad to ask his permission, and I just felt that was really important to honor him and to all that. And, um, he offered to even pay because he is like, you need to save for the wedding. So I’m gonna pay for breakfast just

Lara Bianca Pilcher: a lot from my dad.

Andrew Pilcher: But I did that. Um, I had maybe gone to my mentors to sort of talk to them. Um, I, you know, put money and a lot of money into the ring and planned that. And then I had

Lara Bianca Pilcher: just, I didn’t know any of this.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, I got lots, lots of, um, glimpses and times personally where I knew that this was the right time and this was good.

Mm-hmm. Um, and planned all of that. And then. I had a lot planned for that engagement day,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: but I didn’t know it was engagement day because like I said, I was like, I know that I can’t lead this, I can’t lead this. Because doing that would cut him off at the knees from something that really God was doing in him and teaching him to be who he was and is in to this [00:33:00] day in our, in our marriage, it’s nearly, we are coming up 20 years, so we’re, we’re hitting like we’ve been together over 20 years.

Um. That for me to step down and not take the reins and, um, both spiritually but also in the relationship, was really important to our long-term relationship. And it empowered him because he had to. And I said to him like, I’m not gonna make you choose between me and God ever. I’m not gonna, it flaunt my sexuality, um, to be that, that Frank, I’m not gonna make you choose me when the Bible says what it says.

Um, so I mean, we waited physically until we were married, everything. Um, we really wanted to do it the way that the Lord, we wanted to honor God and have him in the center of it. And it wasn’t easy. Good grief. It wasn’t an easy journey, but, um. I was like, we’re only at question 43, so my brain’s not thinking about getting, we were at the beach, we were having a little picnic and Andrew’s like, come and walk over here.

And me is [00:34:00] totally naive to anything that he’s been planning for the last month. Just skips along. I don’t know what I was talking about, but it

Andrew Pilcher: wasn’t marriage. 12 long term roses, uh, you know, for her that day. Brought them along to her and, uh, planned all these things. And I had a, um, a gift, um, for her that was kind of wrapped up and it was rose petals with the ring inside.

Um, and it was meant so that she would then open up the present.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I thought it was a cake.

Andrew Pilcher: I don’t know what that’s all about. She thought it was a cake

Lara Bianca Pilcher: wrapped up in, ’cause that’s the kind of thing he would’ve done baked for me or something. Like he was outta the box. Yeah. Like it felt, it felt like he’d baked something and it was a picnic.

And I’m like, maybe he sounds something romantic. It’s like, I don’t know. So.

Andrew Pilcher: So it was meant to nicely fall out of the, the bottom of the ’cause. I cut the bottom of the, the, the gift, so it’d all fall out to the ground. And I would kneel down and pick up the ring and say, will you marry me? Yes. And that’s what I did.

But I had to encourage the thing to fall. So I was [00:35:00] kind of pushing it like what are doing?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And I’m still thinking this is a cake. And then he is on his knees and saying, will you marry me? And I didn’t even, until he was on his knees, have a clue that he was proposing. So I was in complete shock. The beautiful thing was that that ring that he snuck like he to size apparently, I think, did you say?

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, I, she was at her house and she would be making a cup of tea in the kitchen and I would get all the rings in her like jewelry box. And I would like try them on my finger to say, how big is her fingers? And I’d guess, which finger does she wear that on? And I would get like a guess.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: He guessed. And then he went in and got this ring made from scratch and that that ring slid perfectly onto my boom finger.

Nice. Got it. So even that, like I had no say in the ring, nothing. I mean, it’s like, it was such a shock, but I was just, I mean, it’s such a beautiful thing to. To be proposed to, um, especially [00:36:00] when you didn’t see it coming and he’d planned the whole day. He was so stressed that morning. He had blood nose apparently that morning.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. I sometimes have a stress blood nose that in the morning I went downstairs to my mom and I was like, um, I’ve had blood nose this morning. I’m like, I think I’m just stressed with everything. And she was like, okay, what do you need? You’re gonna be great. Is this I know. Have you got all the roses? Did I say she wishes

Lara Bianca Pilcher: because he’d organized the whole day and, um.

There was a limousine and there was a, a dinner booked and

Andrew Pilcher: mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: There was just so many pieces that he was organizing and I didn’t even see it coming. Apparently I was chatting away suppress of bread about who knows what, and he had a hard time getting me to follow him down to the beach or something,

Andrew Pilcher: and we

Lara Bianca Pilcher: finished,

Andrew Pilcher: you know.

Great. Can we just. Can we, I’ve got a little day plan. Can we get

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: but we’re only on question 43.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Did you get through the whole book before the wedding? I

Andrew Pilcher: think we did. No, we kept, we kept going as preparation, but, but it was done. It was done.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We don’t need any more [00:37:00] of these questions.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So this, you said it was 11 months, so we’re what, in November?

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yes.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Very good timing. It was November, I think it was the 11th of November.

Mm-hmm.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And then seven more months after that. Um, June 17th, yeah. Was the wedding. And that seven months, I wanted it to be three. I think I said that.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. We wanted it to be short of both of us, but we,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: you are booking venues and you’re trying to get. Uh, and it’s hard, like, uh, at that time of year, that was summer.

There was so many events and then, um, you’re going into autumn over there and that’s like peak wedding season. And um, so we just had to get the soonest that we could, but it, that seven months was very special.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah. So sweet. Okay. And anything leading, leading up to the wedding that you wanted to share?

I definitely wanna hear about the wedding.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Oh, our wedding was a production. It was like it because we were so heavily involved in the arts and I was the on the [00:38:00] creative team, which was called the Red Team at the time. Um, everybody in our community and in our church wanted to be involved and that was so hard for me ’cause I was so used to putting on things for everybody else and involving everyone else.

We had all these beautiful people like, I wanna do your flowers for you. Sure. I wanna make your dress for you. Sure. And then my dance school students, like the young ones, danced down the aisles like flower girls. They weren’t the official flower girls, but they danced down the aisle. The older girls danced down the aisle before I came down with my bridesmaids.

We had. Two actors enact Song of songs. We had a horse. Yeah, because my friend had a horse, a white horse that was out and we took photos with it. We had African dancers because he’d been on Mission to Africa three times and we had

Andrew Pilcher: connections. I mean, yeah, my, my, he was wild teacher Florida, um, is the best in Australia.

And he, he wanted to play, um, up in the balcony as people arrived. So they

Lara Bianca Pilcher: played, yeah,

Andrew Pilcher: so they played, it was just beautiful. I wrote a song for her. Again, secret. And my groomsmen were all [00:39:00] musicians, so we kinda left the altar, middle of the, of the ceremony and she’s like, what? Whatcha what’s happening?

Whatcha doing? Please don’t run over there. And then I’m singing the song for her. And you know, people are like, there is a lot going on in this wedding. Um, a really beautiful pastor, um, in our church walked a unity candle down the aisle and towards the end of the service and we lit it together. And yeah, it was really, it was a

Lara Bianca Pilcher: production and it was one to remember.

I mean, it was, it’s still to this day, so very, very special to us to, I’ve had so many people involved and to make it so creative.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, that’s a guess was a big part of the lead up that seven months up towards the wedding, that, that we had a beautiful community around us.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Just planning

Andrew Pilcher: all of that. The last community Yeah.

That we’d built over time, over years, just being involved with each other’s lives. And our church is very like that. Yeah. And that is such a wonderful, to this day, we just, that’s knitted within us that we, we think that should be part of life as we live it is that a, a community that’s, you know, sees each other, knows each other, helps each other, and is part of that, that journey and that [00:40:00] came together so nice.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. But yeah, we’ve moved to America in the last four years, so we’re still building that here. But we feel that ache, we feel the ache of, of that where we started and how involved in our lives. It was just really precious. So that seven months was planning the production of productions. Mm-hmm. Which was very much my lane.

So it was really, really special. Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love that. Okay, so. You had this beautiful wedding, and I know, uh, you’ve seen pictures with the horse and, um, releasing butterflies.

Andrew Pilcher: Oh,

yes, there was that too. Yeah. We wanted to release doves or something, but then at that time of year in Australia, it just wasn’t feasible to get that, uh, sent over or whatever so that we could.

Butterflies, scent in the posts, release them.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: This

Andrew Pilcher: sounds

Lara Bianca Pilcher: horrible. Them looking back that they, they kind of hibernate on ice, which is horrible. And as they wake up you can release them, but

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um,

or

Lara Bianca Pilcher: something like that. It’s something like that. But they Interesting. But they make for [00:41:00] beautiful photographs.

Yeah. Yeah.

Andrew Pilcher: We butterflies on us as we were, but

Lara Bianca Pilcher: they, yeah, they take a while to wake up and so they were just, they just sort of stay on you. So we’ve got pictures of them on our hands and I don’t know if I’d do it now, knowing the process, the poor butteries to go through seems a bit cruel, but, um, for them they’re just sleeping and then, and then wake up.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: But, uh, yeah, we had a beautiful wedding. And then of course in everything, Mr. Darcy, um, which is paid by Colin Firth, Bridget Jones. Diary for those who still are like, who is Mr. Darcy? He’s in Jane Austin novels. He’s the character that’s cryptic that the leads always in love with, but, um, I. It was funny because he had planned, my bridesmaid was a travel agent and he’d secretly planned the honeymoon.

And of course, in true Andrew style, I had no idea where we were going or what was happening. And so I, I packed a, a cold suitcase and a hot suitcase not knowing

Andrew Pilcher: I had planned with the travel agent friend, uh, the bridesmaid, just all those things with her. And so we were in sort of almost [00:42:00] constant communication to be like, okay, do you need to plan this, play this Andrew, do this?

And I’m like, okay, cool.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It turns out we were going to Cota Alou in Malaysia.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Which I found out the next morning after the wedding. So we had a night, our wedding fuck

Andrew Pilcher: suitcase.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yes. Our wedding night was in Perth, Western Australia. Very special night. Of course. ’cause we waited. Mm-hmm. And then the next day I am on a flight, international flight going to Malaysia and.

That I wasn’t expecting at all. So he had planned all of that. I think it was six nights at a fancy resort in Malaysia.

Andrew Pilcher: Amazing.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So that was nice because after that massive time of like planning and everything, it was just a beautiful time. As honeymoon should be. It was just the two of us and all.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. A lot of the boat mates were sad though because they’d been involved in the production of production.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, yeah. They’re like, oh, we can’t, we wanted to see you and be with you.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It feels like for them the story’s over and then, you know. Yeah,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah,

yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It’s hard. Yeah,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah, yeah. It’s just, but we, that was a great time because [00:43:00] we were both busy.

I had a very, very busy job, and, um, she did as well, and, and we were planning the wedding, so it was just, it was very busy. And then for us to kind of rest, it was just so like, whew. It was amazing. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So different. Yeah, that’s right.

Dawn Pruszkowski: That is, did you get to see much of Malaysia while you were there, or did you just stay in the

Andrew Pilcher: No, we just had.

Um, the important, funny mean, I was like, that was a

Lara Bianca Pilcher: long pause. Very awkward, long pause.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: No, we gotta know each other.

Andrew Pilcher: Yes. To know each other.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: But we did not see, actually there was, there was a funny story. Yeah. It’s not that kind of podcast. There was a hilarious story. ’cause there was one day we did get to see Malaysia.

They, they had this thing for Honeymooners where they could drop you at your own island for the day. And so they, and we’re like, cool. So we take our swimwear and we [00:44:00] go to this island and we are running around like Adam and Eve on our own island. It was amazing. And then I know I am loose of tongue. I know.

But anyway, there was one moment that day where we ran through what was some sort of Malaysian sand fly, but didn’t notice anything. I just noticed them there and then. We had a lovely day. They came, picked us up at the certain time and we went back to the hotel and 3:00 AM

Andrew Pilcher: we’re just scratching our skin.

We’re itchy everywhere. We both get up and like we are covered head to toe with sand fly bites

Lara Bianca Pilcher: like welts and welts and we, I’d been wearing a bikini because it was my honeymoon and, and I was like, I’m wearing a bikini. So, I mean, everywhere was covered and it, it’s like, if you can imagine what one mosquito bite looks like it was, that times a hundred of them in every part of your body.

But we’re in a, a place where the resort’s great and now we’re itching like crazy and we didn’t, we weren’t prepared [00:45:00] for that. So we had to go to a doctor in it. It’s a third world country where we

Andrew Pilcher: were. You know, hardly spoke English in that in some places. But anyway, so it was difficult and he basically gave us a cream to put on the different ointment things.

I said, is there a a medication? I can take you something. And he is like, no, no.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So we get that night on a honeymoon. We are like, like scooping out cream and putting it on each little tiny bite. I’m like, welcome to marriage. But I was also like, God, I waited. Like what? Look at my body. I can’t wear a bikini.

I look like a freak. I was covered in welts and we were like in sickness and in health straight away covering ourselves with ointment. And the rest of the time, like I’m not sitting by the pool in that swimsuit. I’m like

Andrew Pilcher: super annoying.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It was, it’s funny looking back, but at the time it was pretty, pretty devastating because [00:46:00] we just, we looked bad and I think I’ve got photos somewhere, um, of all these red marks all over.

Even my face.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So anyway, I’m sorry. She still found me attractive, but I did not feel attractive. That

Andrew Pilcher: did.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It was so unfortunate. We nearly burnt. Nearly burnt our room down. That’s just a small thing. Like we had tea, light candles in one of them. We didn’t realize, ’cause we were new to romantic candles.

It started to get so hot that it melted a hole into the television at the Resort Hotel, and it left like this. It went down and then there was this spark or something, and Andrew and I were like, what? So.

Andrew Pilcher: We put it out, it’s okay, but then there’s a little bill to pay as, uh, we leave the hotel. So,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: well, actually I was good.

I was like, you don’t need a whole new tv, you just need a new cover to the tv. And we didn’t have much money because we just got, uh, you know, married and that that cost a lot of money. And so I worked out how to replace the cover on the tv. Um, when we [00:47:00] got home from our honeymoon and they were okay with that.

So like it was only $80 instead of like 500.

Andrew Pilcher: We were sort of ringing the, the resort after when we came back home. So it was a lot of,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: that’s our funny honeymoon story. Oh man. We nearly burn down our room.

Andrew Pilcher: Hmm.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I’m saying multiple ways, but anyway. So, um, so now that you’re together, your professions, your passions are beginning to intertwine as you’re building this life together, um, could you start sharing like how your life changed and everything like that?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We, after three years of just sort of settling and getting.

Into life there. We moved to London, which we did not see coming.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, at all. But it was that thing where I said to Andrew, I’ve always just wanted to go to a big city, go to London, and because I was a professional musical theater performer, professional dancer, and [00:48:00] just like go out there and just see how they go.

Because we were in a smaller town. It was beautiful. But I would create opportunities where there wasn’t. There wasn’t really any existing opportunities. Um, and Andrew’s like, why don’t we just do it? I was like, what?

Andrew Pilcher: I mean, I had the British passport. He had British passport. It was easy to work there. I’d been there before, but I think as I mentioned it in the past, um, she thought, I just hated that it rained a lot.

So she was like, he’s not gonna wanna live there. Um, but I think as I could see it, I knew that we really had a wiring towards, um, being missional in our lives, a missionary based sort of mindset, uh, but in the marketplace, in, in our professions, in, in that, around the arts sphere. And that’s, that’s in cities, that’s in, you know, arts hubs.

So that for me is either Sydney or in Australia or Melbourne or, or going to somewhere like London. I’ve got the British passport. I was like, let’s just hit London. Let’s do it. Let’s go big. You know,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: and we went, we went for what we thought would be a seven month sabbatical and mm-hmm. We [00:49:00] ended up. Over seven years and having two children there.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And then eventually. Moved back to Melbourne. Yeah. And then we were in Melbourne for five years and then we moved, um, to America. Mm-hmm. And none of this was in the plan. Like none of it was, it’s just doors opened and we said yes. And we’ve continued to show up and the arts is like that. Arts open and mm-hmm.

They, they’re in certain locations. It’s a transient

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, thing to be involved in. And we have been on this massive international adventure together. Yeah.

Andrew Pilcher: But part of it was that in London it’s great. Like I was newer and I’d worked with a lot of performers because there was a sense, I trained as a physical therapist and then.

A lot of performers I knew around a dance world. Mm. My sister was a dancer growing up, so there was a, a little connection there. Musicians, they would know. Andrew’s trained now, so come and see him. So I, I had a specialty with dancers because I just understood their bodies. Right. Yeah. And that is quite niche in physical therapy.

Uh, [00:50:00] but then, um, going to London, I’m new, you know, I’m a little fish in a big pond here, so, but she’d heard about this physical, physical therapist who worked with performers and singers and she was like, you’ve gotta go and meet him. So there was a sense of us kind of aligning ourselves or getting in the face of people where you wanna work and kind of knock on that door, but be quite active in that rather than like just praying at home and asking some freak call to come to say, Hey, do you want this opportunity?

So we had to be active in that. So she really, because I had there, there, there was that element to me that I wouldn’t. Just run to do that. She was the more charismatic one. So, so there was this that she really helped me to get in his face and to that, and then I got a job with him very quickly. So it was, it was amazing.

So she’s helped me step into that, that space really well.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah, it was a time of spreading our wings as a couple and really kind of just enjoying married life and having adventures. We did a lot of missions in the arts all over [00:51:00] Europe and Andrew began be the vocal, specialized, uh, physical therapy that he does, and it was just a beautiful time.

It was like seven years, seven years of marriage before we had children. Yeah, we were having so much fun, like so, so much fun together having so many adventures traveling. Yeah. And yeah, once we had the two children, London just wasn’t the same. ’cause it’s not made. Mm-hmm. It’s made for the fit. And those being that can get on the tube and get down the stairs and there’s a lot of non-accessible stations.

And when you’ve got a kid and you’re in London, it’s like everyone’s going fast. It, it’s hard. So we were like, London’s not the same anymore. Um, and we went back to Australia with the kids.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yep. And now we’re in America. So Atlanta, Georgia, Andrew got a job here as, as you talked about at the start, but like, it’s a, it’s an arts hub, um, for film.

And we came here really to be a part of this arts hub.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. [00:52:00]

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love that you guys are so, so busy with so many projects. Could you just share, like, how do you maintain a strong relationship? With so many things going on around that you’re doing and and being a part.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. Well, as you shared at the start, we started the not-for-profit.

So that keeps us busy. Creative Restoration International with restoring artists. Oh yes. And I’m, I’m about to launch this. I dunno if you can see that audacious artistry, as you shared at the start of my book. Mm-hmm. Uh, reclaim your creative identity and thrive in a saturated world. But on the, on the inside of our rings from the get go, it says, you’re my lover, you’re my friend.

And that’s always been a really big part.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: So, to answer the question, it’s like we’re not just lovers, we are friends. And we’ve been very intentional from the start of developing the tools to have strong communication and to have a healthy marriage. And so, um. [00:53:00] We’ve constantly done courses and training together.

So we have a lot of tools, including the way we parent, where we put ourselves through courses and we’d learn and we, we didn’t fly by the seat of our pants. We’re like, we need mentoring. We need to, to, to learn and to learn and to learn to grow. And we are doing right now another course. And it’s been amazing.

And the teacher of that’s incredible.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, and so we’ve been intentional and now we teach people, uh, through marriage, intimacy and healing our marriage podcast. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And our marriage restoration program, the tools that we’ve been blessed to, to learn and to grow in and to have a beautiful marriage and relationship.

Yeah. There’s just so much joy in that because I honestly believe for every problem in a relationship, there is a skill to learn that will help you to have it a healthy, beautiful, incredible, long lasting love story.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And we very much do. We are best friends. Yeah, but we won’t settle. We are not gonna ever settle.

Right. You and me are not settlers.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We’re not gonna settle for the [00:54:00] status quo. The romance needs to stay alive. Everything needs to stay alive. So we keep working at

Andrew Pilcher: it. Yeah. I think just keeping short accounts and just making sure that we’re checking in with each other to say, you know, what’s going on for you and, and that, that, that is key just to have regular check-ins, ’cause busyness and our kids are a little older now.

They’re not, don’t need as much help as great. They were when our four,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: five, and six. Great.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. But they’re a little older, but there’s still a lot to do and there’s still a lot to do with all the projects we we’re doing. Um, so we still carve out time in small ways or bigger ways to check in with each other, to call through the day to make effort towards building that.

I guess early in our marriage, a few close friends actually, um, told us news that they would been building up for a while, that they. Got a divorce and we were so grieved and it just didn’t seem right or it didn’t seem that it was ever gonna happen. So we were like, how did that all happen? So we,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: they were the perfect couple.

Andrew Pilcher: We had to process that and then start to go, look, this fire rose up in both of us to say we have to build,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: we’re [00:55:00] not immune, we’re not immune from divorce and the

Andrew Pilcher: problems. Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We, if if that couple, that was the perfect couple that everyone in church was like, that’s the Barbie and Ken couple Yeah.

If they’re gonna get divorced, I said, we need to be aware that we are not safe from that. We need to safeguard ourselves. And so began the work of

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: We are not gonna settle for anything other than learning the skills to have the best relationship we could have.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And we fought for it from the start and we still fight for it 20 years in.

Yeah.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love that. Okay. I’ve got one question for you. If someone is in the friend zone, kind of that situation, you know what I’m talking about? Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. M wondering in their wondering if this relationship should, will be more. Um, how do they know when they should wait and when they should speak?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: It’s, it’s definitely a great question because every circumstance is unique.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: But one thing I, I know is that we were in [00:56:00] community and that community safeguarded us from getting into any delusions of things that you can get into your own head or thinking, oh, but God’s told me, or whatever. Because, um, there was a lot of support and community around us.

So when it came to, for example, me going and talking to Andrew, um, his friend had already given me the sense that there was some possible feelings. I didn’t know whether he, he would still like me. ’cause he said, he’s like you for three years. I said, I don’t know if you’d still do. Yeah,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah, yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: There’s

Andrew Pilcher: still the risk.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Right. Maybe I was a crush that passed, but there was community. Andrew had a mentor that helped him to know what to do and when that’s community, I think so many of us try to work it out alone. Where we were already set up that way. Yes, we had God, but we had so many people around us that when it felt hopeless, um, we were able to sort of lean on them for their wisdom.

People that were older than us, like the Paul [00:57:00] Timothy and Barnabas in the Bible, like someone older, someone, you’re mentoring someone that’s your friend. We definitely didn’t just have peers and all their advice. We had older people that were married that we could lean on and go to. So I think that would be my first thing.

Yeah, to be aware too of what the Lord’s saying spiritually is hard around relationships because so much emotions involved. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I think that’s where it’s really important to have accountability mentors, counselors, if you need it to sort of process it. But also there was a point where I came to where I went and bravely.

I didn’t say how I felt, but get made a space that Andrew could speak to me.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah. And that was really brave, because that could have just been like, oh no. Or whatever,

Lara Bianca Pilcher: but I didn’t say I liked you, so I kind of safely, like if you’d said, oh, mm-hmm. I’m just, I just wanna be friends, I’d be like, okay, well I didn’t give anything away.

Mm-hmm.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: I just said, I’m getting mixed messages. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I think there’s a way to communicate that kind of protects you with that while creating [00:58:00] spaces and having the community around you. For sure. Yeah.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: And yeah, of course, pray, but I think most of us, if we’re walking with God, we know that.

But God also doesn’t just work alone. He works through the community and those around us that mm-hmm.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Are there to be the, the, the elders in our life that so many of us just unfortunately don’t have, and we just, they’re just a phone call away.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm

Lara Bianca Pilcher: mm They’re just one little conversation away.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I think, I think, um. Being active in the process with that community around you. So for me, um, the important thing for me was to bring up those overwhelming things that happened to me around me, and that would’ve really pushed it along a little faster or, or got me a little more in tune with what was actually happening and helped me process.

So being active rather than sitting on your heels, you know?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah. Andrew was very proactive, even within his fears and his personality type. And just, frankly, it’s part of growing from a boy to a man mm-hmm. Is through this journey. Mm-hmm.

Andrew Pilcher: [00:59:00] Mm-hmm.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Um, he was proactive about pursuing his wholeness and healing, and we both have been.

Mm-hmm. So I would say like there’s no cut and dry answer, but there are people around you to talk to and be careful when you do that because some of them are not the right people. We had some people that weren’t the right, they were like, well, if God said that to you, then maybe you should, uh. Just keep listening to God.

Um, but that mentor was wrong. Um, the other mentor, it wasn’t that he was wrong, but it just didn’t help things along where the other one was like, eh, I dunno about that. So,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah,

Andrew Pilcher: yeah. You

Lara Bianca Pilcher: know, so a couple of different people’s good. I think. Don’t try and do it alone.

Andrew Pilcher: Yeah, yeah,

Dawn Pruszkowski: yeah. That’s

Andrew Pilcher: true.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah.

Well, I know that, uh, people are gonna wanna connect with you. Um, and I, we do have all that information on our website, unexpected love stories.com. Um, and that’s when we can find out more about [01:00:00] Andrew and Laura, that you can see so many beautiful love story photos there as well. And discover all their incredible projects as well as reach out and chat with them.

Did you wanna share really quickly, like some of the things that they’ll find there?

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah, so we’ve got our website, Andrew and Lara. There are, there are our names. And for the Americans, my name Lara doesn’t have a U in it, so there’s no u that’s important. So Andrew and lara.com is where you find our podcast, our marriage coaching and free resources.

And that’s a ministry, um, that comes under creative restoration international.com. And that’s um, where you can find if, uh, more about our not-for-profit. And then there’s lara bianca pilcher.com, which is the artist restoration program where you can also find audacious artistry that’s just coming out, um, that’s actually coming out this month.

And a lot of the resources, if you’re a creative soul and would like some support there. Mm-hmm.

Andrew Pilcher: Mm-hmm.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Oh, I love that.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: This is such a beautiful story. Thank you for [01:01:00] coming on and sharing this with us.

Lara Bianca Pilcher: Pleasure.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love, I even love that pleasure.

Oh well, friends, remember, if it feels slow, don’t panic. If it feels unclear, don’t assume that it’s over. The right love may be already standing beside you, just waiting for someone to speak. While if this episode moved, you share it with one person who needs encouragement, and be sure to follow unexpected love stories so that you never miss a great story just like this one.

Then come find me on Instagram or Facebook and tell me, have you ever been in one of these waiting situations and who was the one who finally had to speak? Um, I hope that your heart feels lighter and full of hope after this, after hearing this beautiful story. ’cause you [01:02:00] know, often the best love stories were the ones we never saw coming.

So keep your heart open because love truly is waiting for you. We’ll see you later. Bye.