Tom Bancroft: [00:00:00] And so I enjoy Jen. I just, I haven’t figured her out. So to me, even after 36 years, she’s still a mystery and fascinating to me. And part of that is that love of just enjoying the differences. But I do think that’s key,

Jen Bancroft: actually. I think that’s more him enjoying like, let me see how I can annoy her today.

Tom Bancroft: That too, I mean, that’s fine.

Jen Bancroft: And you know, see, see what, what happens if I do this

Tom Bancroft: right? Or your fish, she’ll get mad if I do this.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Love stories fill us with joy and inspire hope for the future. And a true life romance can remind us that sometimes just one spark is all it takes

to change everything.

He’s drawn some of your favorite characters and she’s helped give children their voices. But their greatest masterpiece is the love story they’ve been writing together since high school. Welcome to [00:01:00] Unexpected Love Stories. I’m your host Dom Persky, and today our guests are Tom and Jennifer Bancroft. Now Tom’s a former Disney animator who created some of your favorite characters in movies such as The Lion King, Pocahontas, Tarzan Beauty and the Beast in Mulan.

And he went on to work with Veggie Tails and so much more. Now Tom’s the CEO of Studio Pencil ish, and he is directed 10 feature films and eight TV series. Jennifer is a woman after my own heart. She’s, uh, been a speech language pathologist for 33 years serving children and families with compassion and purpose.

She’s earned a PhD from Vanderbilt University in Early Childhood Special Education, and she’s now the professor. At Austin P State University in Tennessee, where she trains and inspires the next generation of speech language pathologists, welcome you two. How you guys doing? Hey.

Tom Bancroft: Hi. We’re doing well. Hi.

Thanks for having me, Sean. Appreciate it.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Oh, I’m so excited to have [00:02:00] you guys tell your stories.

Tom Bancroft: Well just wait. You may take your

Dawn Pruszkowski: money. So you, so you guys were high school sweethearts. Tell us about how that all started.

Tom Bancroft: Well, I love taking over and telling all the stories, so I’m gonna let you do this one.

You, you wanna drive?

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Okay.

Jen Bancroft: Uh. We met at Los Alamitos High School in 1984. Uh, I had run, uh, to class and dropped my books and come back to get something from my locker. And this tall sort of dorky guy started to mouth off at me saying, Hey, you’re late for class. And I’d already been to class. So, you know, I don’t know what he was talking about ’cause he hadn’t been.

But that’s how we met.

Tom Bancroft: It was a joke. It was supposed to be a cute little joke. ’cause I was obviously late too. Get it.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Do you get it?

Jen Bancroft: I do get it

Tom Bancroft: now.

Jen Bancroft: Now I get it.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. So that’s how we met.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: And then, and then we realized we were in an English class later in the day together.

Tom Bancroft: So pretty [00:03:00] soon I’m finishing lunch and I’m going, Hey, let’s go.

I’m walking her to class, basically trying to get to know her, um, just as a friend honestly. And then we would come outta that class, I’d walk her back to the lockers, and pretty soon I’m walking her to the next class. And so I was spending more and more time with her and kind of finally worked up the nerve to say, Hey, you know, can we get together?

Actually, no, you did. Sorry. That’s, you invited me to a football game.

Jen Bancroft: Oh, okay. I was gonna say, I did not ask you out. Um, shouldn’t

Tom Bancroft: ask me out, but

Jen Bancroft: I, I was on the drill team, so I had asked him if you wanted to go to a football game and not,

Tom Bancroft: and then I said, what’s football?

Jen Bancroft: Not with me, but just like, was he gonna go?

And, um, and so, and then he walked up to me during the game and there were two of them standing there that looked exactly alike. And I had no idea he had a twin and he never told me he’d had a twin. And so then I didn’t even know who I was talking to.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, I just kind of, I just assumed everybody knew.

[00:04:00] Now it turns out Tony and I, my brother, we, we were artists, right? And so founders of the art club, by the way. So was lost how high

Jen Bancroft: I

Tom Bancroft: was. He was president, big club. I was vice president. And anyway, turns out we weren’t very popular. We’d been there for what, a a year? Three years? Three years. Three years.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. I thought he was a new kid on campus.

Tom Bancroft: She thought I just started there and there’s two of me walking around. That’s how nerdy we were.

Dawn Pruszkowski: That’s true.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah,

Dawn Pruszkowski: that’s true. She

Tom Bancroft: had no idea.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So how’d you find out you weren’t that popular? No one knew them

Tom Bancroft: Well, yeah, because she didn’t, she thought I was brand new.

Like just got there that semester and I’ve been there for three years. And then on top of that, there’s a twin brother of mine walking around. I just, I was like, what? Everybody knows right, that I have a twin. I just never even thought to bring it up.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So is this your junior or senior year?

Jen Bancroft: It was her senior year.

Fall of our senior year.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. And she would go to her friends and say,

Jen Bancroft: what did I say? What did I say?

Tom Bancroft: There’s this [00:05:00] cute new guy.

Jen Bancroft: Oh, I did. I called you the cute new guy.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah,

Jen Bancroft: right. I think I thought he was a cute, tall guy, is what he was. Right. Because he was, I’m five eight and so I was so thrilled to meet some guy that was actually taller than me.

So that was awesome. He was also like a skeleton. ’cause he weighed very little. Yeah. But he was really tall.

Tom Bancroft: I found out shortly after that that she had a type and her type was, uh, tall, thin. Black. Uh, unfortunately, I, I was only two of those things. That’s

Jen Bancroft: true

Tom Bancroft: because she told me she was in, she had a crush on Denzel Washington.

Oh.

Tom Bancroft: At the time.

Jen Bancroft: Well, he doesn’t

Dawn Pruszkowski: That’s true,

Jen Bancroft: right? I mean, seriously,

Tom Bancroft: he still does already. Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Oh, he’s awesome. I could go through a list of my favorite actors, but

Tom Bancroft: the mostly black.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Like I said, a woman after my own heart.

Tom Bancroft: There you go. See? You get it. You get it right.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Alright, so, uh, you had a type and Tom, what attracted you to [00:06:00] this lovely lady?

Tom Bancroft: Well, for definitely she was on the drill team and she had these little short skirts that she would wear. Oh my gosh. I mean, how it was high school really. Of course, that’s what it was appealing. She’s always had great hair. I’m gonna give her that right away. And she was just super cute, super bubbly. Like even more bubbly than now, right?

Because now she’s older and gets tired, but, but back then she was just like perky all the time and super excited and super, you know, up and, uh, yeah. Everything about, but I was, I was only friends with her at first, and I, and I didn’t kind of a little bit like your love story that you were telling us earlier.

You know, I didn’t look at her like that. I just thought, oh, I need a, I like girls, um, as friends, you know, and I, I could talk to girls. I grew up without a dad. And so that was part of our story is that I think both Tony and I, we, we could talk to girls. ’cause I had a sister and a mom and mm-hmm. So like, that was easier for us, believe it or not, [00:07:00] until it was romantic.

Then it was all of a sudden we’d shut down and become, you know, nervous nerds. Um, so that point did come, but I was able to kind of just know her as a friend first.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah. So how long did that friendship go until you started going like. My heart is starting to feel these feelings and

Jen Bancroft: well, I liked him right away.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, kind.

Jen Bancroft: I, I liked him right away. Uh, and then we,

Tom Bancroft: I found that out later. I didn’t know she

Jen Bancroft: was Yeah. I liked him. I thought he was cute and tall. And tall and that was pretty much my

Tom Bancroft: Right.

Jen Bancroft: My barrier.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. Unfortunately white

Jen Bancroft: and, um, yeah. And so, uh, you know, I, I liked him right away. Um, and then, uh, he asked me out eventually, and, but it, again, it was just his friends, although I thought it was a date.

Um, and, uh, I mean, we could draw things out and take forever on these stories, but like Tom, this is before cell phones and Tom is directionally [00:08:00] challenged for sure. Even to this day.

Tom Bancroft: Yes.

Jen Bancroft: And uh, we lived. We lived in Southern California and I lived in College Park West, and he lived in Rossmore, which really are like two communities separated just by a freeway.

Tom Bancroft: So what, three, five miles apart?

Jen Bancroft: I don’t even think they’re that. They’re, yeah. And anybody who’s been around there knows exactly how to get, I mean, it’s pretty quick and easy. It, he was two hours late to our first date because he got lost and had to go all the way home to get my to call again and to, to try to figure out where I was.

And then he ends up in the neighborhood of, of my neighborhood.

Tom Bancroft: This is after the second tribe, right? Find her house.

Jen Bancroft: And he’s like literally yelling out the window, Jennifer. Jennifer,

Tom Bancroft: I was so desperate.

Jen Bancroft: I was such a dork.

Tom Bancroft: And then there was some kids playing on the block and I stopped and they were like eight or something, eight and 10.

And they were playing catch. And I’m like, I stopped and do, do you know Jennifer Meadows? Do you, do you know her? And they were like, I [00:09:00] think there’s like two. I didn’t even know she had a sister, I think at the time. But I, I think there’s two girls that live Yeah. On the other block over. Yeah. So now I knew like the right street.

I got to the right street and that’s when I got desperate and just started yelling out the window.

Jen Bancroft: Mm-hmm.

Tom Bancroft: And I don’t think you, you didn’t have the door.

Thank

Jen Bancroft: God. Did you? I didn’t hear you. No.

Tom Bancroft: Um, I think I found, I found by accident her friend, and this is all God stuff. This is, I, I believe this. There’s no reason I should have found you.

Um, because I should have gone all the way back and called her again. ’cause

Jen Bancroft: I don’t think he ever wrote down the

Tom Bancroft: address. I never wrote down actually what she said after I ran. No, ran back the first time. This is

Jen Bancroft: very Tom, which

Tom Bancroft: was so stupid. It, I mean. I still can’t understand how I was that dumb. I mean, I’ve done dumb things, but that was really dumb.

And so I just thought, okay, okay, yeah, I got it. All right. I figured it out because I’m a visual person. So I thought, oh, when I start seeing things like she was describing things, I was like, okay, I’ll figure it out.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah,

Tom Bancroft: sure enough, I get there. I’m not figuring it [00:10:00] out. And so as I’m yelling out her name, I happen to see a, a, a house that’s nearby that like one of her friends lived in and I, I go up to that house and they’re like, oh yeah, we know Jennifer.

And they literally kind of like, it’s two doors down, blah, blah, blah. Still, when I got to the final door, when I’m knocking on the door, I had no idea if I was still, if I was at the right house.

Jen Bancroft: And, and the best part was is that he shows up, he’s, he’s super skinny. He’s like,

Tom Bancroft: yeah,

Jen Bancroft: six foot four and 160 pounds.

I mean, really thin. No,

Tom Bancroft: it was less than that.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah, I mean that a good day. He was super skinny. His pants are too short. And he is wearing this white shirt. And like, remember the eighties, the skinny, skinny ties, like, and it was like Aqua, I can still remember. And he is holding a rose.

Tom Bancroft: I didn’t know where.

Yeah. And I got the rose from our front. My dad. Yeah. My stepdad had had roses in the front.

Jen Bancroft: So, and, and it’s so funny ’cause skinny now to me, of course, you know, I ate all of that up. I thought it would brought me a rose. I mean he, I I knew he was two hours

Tom Bancroft: [00:11:00] late. Oh, it worked. I didn’t know that this

Jen Bancroft: is the

Tom Bancroft: first time,

Jen Bancroft: but he didn’t like me.

So, you know, then I find out all this time later that I really was just a friend. I thought that was being romantic and stuff. Um, and my, my aunt was actually there picking up my grandmother. ’cause my grandmother was, had been like, my mom took care of her sometimes. And she had been at our house and when they found out some guy was coming to pick me up, they stayed and waited for the two hours ’cause they wanted to see him.

So, yeah. So

Tom Bancroft: yeah, so I come in and I, and

Jen Bancroft: there’s this whole family there,

Tom Bancroft: meeting her entire family. And that was really bizarre.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah, it was really fun.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah

Tom Bancroft: it was.

Jen Bancroft: And then we went to a very cheap theater. You know, like we, we call them the sit and scratches, you know, like where like you, you stick to the floor as you walk in.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yes.

Jen Bancroft: And um, and

Tom Bancroft: we saw a double, uh, it was for I think a dollar or two, a dollar

Jen Bancroft: 50. We saw Red Dawn, but we missed most of it.

Tom Bancroft: The original Red Dawn.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. We saw Red Dawn and Karate Kid. One,

Tom Bancroft: two. I think it was two. No,

Jen Bancroft: it was, well, it was, no, it was one,

Tom Bancroft: well it was [00:12:00] a safe

Jen Bancroft: Kar Karate

Tom Bancroft: kid.

Jen Bancroft: Karate kid. And, and that

Tom Bancroft: was amazing.

Jen Bancroft: That, and Tom asked me if I wanted anything to eat. I’m like, no, you know? And then, and he sat there and had these two hot dogs with all this relish on it and just like slurped it up. And I’m just like, why do we like this cow?

Tom Bancroft: I was so hungry. I, yeah. And being thin, it’d

Dawn Pruszkowski: been traveling for two hours.

Tom Bancroft: Exactly. I mean, like, I was dizzy and stuff, and I was like, I gotta get a couple hot dogs, you

Jen Bancroft: know? So anyway, that was our first date.

Tom Bancroft: Oh, I forgot about the hotdog part.

Jen Bancroft: It’s, it’s still in.

Tom Bancroft: You were so, she was so grossed out.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So Jennifer, what did your family think of this guy who’s two hours late?

Jen Bancroft: Uh, what does my dad say

Dawn Pruszkowski: to my,

Jen Bancroft: I mean, he just thought he, my, my dad always makes fun of the nerd that came to the door with the rose.

My dad always says With a single rose.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. They liked him. Tom’s super likable. Everybody loves my, loves Tom. Um, but, um, but yeah, my dad, I’m sure my dad thought [00:13:00] he was a big nerd.

Tom Bancroft: I, I don’t think they thought it would work out. That it would last?

Jen Bancroft: No. Oh gosh,

Tom Bancroft: no. You know, this was just a high school date and

Jen Bancroft: yeah,

Tom Bancroft: first date would probably be the last, uh, yeah.

But I, so to fast forward a little bit, I, after a couple dates, we went out a few times.

Jen Bancroft: Uhhuh,

Tom Bancroft: I just started bawling for her, and I, I didn’t, I don’t know why I didn’t expect it. Like she was everything I was looking for and I didn’t know it. And I don’t even know if I knew what I was looking for. Um, but all of her personality and, and her just, and she was cute from day one, so it’s like I was attracted to her.

Um, anyway, I finally like at the end of one of our dates that I didn’t, I don’t even think I thought it was a date, right? I was still not thinking like that. Um, but we got out a couple times and then, uh, at the end of it, I just all of a sudden said, can I give you a kiss? It turns out that’s the worst thing I should have said.

[00:14:00] I had no idea. I thought I was being a gentleman. Right. And what, how, what was your reaction to that? Me asking?

Jen Bancroft: I don’t, I mean, inside or outside.

Tom Bancroft: Well, you,

Jen Bancroft: you, did I say anything?

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. You said later you told me that that was really off-putting. Oh, that you should have asked. That. I should not have asked. I should have just done it.

And that it made it awkward and it did, and it was pretty awkward. Um, but I don’t know, like she immediately told me like a few dates later or something when we were more in a relationship that, that was really weird that I asked.

Jen Bancroft: It’s funny ’cause some of the things that happened to us as kids and the way I, I counsel my daughters like, I would’ve said, oh, that’s so sweet.

That’s such a nice guy. Yeah. You know, but, but being the girl, like, and they’d probably say, my girls would say, oh, that gave me the ick,

Tom Bancroft: right? Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: The, all of my girls say, oh, that’s an ick.

Tom Bancroft: I thought it was romantic. So anyway, uh, but I remember she wanted, wanted

Dawn Pruszkowski: you to do the eighties movie thing. It just.

Just move in there. Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Plant one on me. I think that’s what it was. Yeah. Yeah. And then we’d go smoke pot or something. Hey, that’s [00:15:00] an eighties movie, right? Uh, that’s all I’m saying. Um, I, I was shaking though. I do remember it was very awkward ’cause I immediately, my body, I don’t handle emotions very well.

’cause I’m usually just this, uh, emotionally all the time. And so I got, you know, emotional and, and, and nervous and all of that. And I just, I, when that happens, sometimes I get shaky. And I remember that being, do you remember like,

Jen Bancroft: I true remember you shaky?

Tom Bancroft: So like everything got weird and awkward because here I’m shaking and trying to give her a kiss and it just made it so bad.

Uh, not our best kiss ever.

Jen Bancroft: No,

Tom Bancroft: no.

Jen Bancroft: You’re much better now.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: But that wasn’t the end of anything of it.

Jen Bancroft: No, no. Continued to date. Oh yeah, we went to the prom together and the winter formal together and

Tom Bancroft: mm-hmm.

Jen Bancroft: Graduated. And then, um,

Tom Bancroft: yeah, the hard thing was, is that with any kind of [00:16:00] a, you know, a high school sweetheart kind of situation like that, we felt like we were deeply in love by the end of senior year.

And it was like the second semester that we met. Right. So,

Jen Bancroft: no, it was the first semester.

Tom Bancroft: First semester. So yeah, we’ve been together for, well, less than a year, and she was about to go. We graduated. I didn’t have big plans, no surprises. Uh, I was gonna go to junior college maybe, and it actually, it was her dad that kind of convinced me to go to junior college.

I wasn’t gonna go to college at all because we were artists and we just were gonna do art. We didn’t really have,

Jen Bancroft: they were just gonna draw.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. We didn’t have a grand plan. We were gonna try and get syndicated and, and be a comic strip artist for the newspaper. That was the goal at the time. And we had done ’em in high school, and so we were just gonna.

Keep doing that. And, and just, I don’t, none of it makes sense. We didn’t have a plan. Um, and, but she had plans. Of course, she was gonna go off and with her best friend and they were gonna [00:17:00] be roommates and in college and Fresno, and she knew exactly the path and has for years. We were so different that way.

And so that, to her, that naturally meant what

Jen Bancroft: I was gonna break up with you. But he, he knew too. I mean, he, we were honest about it.

Tom Bancroft: So like, the whole time we were dating, she was talking about going to Fresno with her best friend and how she couldn’t wait and how well, you know, we’ll break up, right? Like I just, I was accepting it, but I was also not questioning it.

Mm-hmm. Um, and then,

Jen Bancroft: but we were kids. I mean, you just don’t know, you know, and you’re just thinking, okay, I just, you know, you’re in, in high school and

Tom Bancroft: you know, but I’m falling head over heels for this girl. And I’m just like, as it gets closer by the end of the summer, especially that summer. She’s packing, she’s doing things, she’s all excited, and her excitement’s kind of growing and I’m getting depressed.

I’m like, she’s about to leave me and this is it. And, and, and by the way, part of [00:18:00] the plan wasn’t just that she was gonna leave, we had to break up. Yeah. She wanted to be free to date and all that and, and have a good time in college. Right.

Jen Bancroft: Well, I mean, just, yeah. More just that like, you know, that we’re gonna be four hours apart and we were gonna grow up, you know?

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: So I’m going along with this plan, even though I don’t like it. And, um, and I’m not really dealing with it very well as far as. Kind of processing it. I’m just like, I guess, I mean, I guess, but then I’d be like kind of complaining and sometimes I’d probably be on a date and be a little jerky about it and stuff.

You weren’t, I’m just like, you’re just gonna leave me.

Jen Bancroft: I don’t think you were ever jerky

Uhuh.

Tom Bancroft: Okay, good. Thanks. But I, I think I wasn’t totally, both of us honestly weren’t really facing our true feelings, you know? Mm-hmm. How much we liked each other. We just were going along with the plan and uh, and her parents were the same way.

They’re like, okay, Tom, you know, see ya. You guys had a good time together. They thought it was the end of this relationship too. I know your dad was probably a little happy about it. Um, and then, uh, but she [00:19:00] goes off. I don’t know if you wanna take it from here. And what did you discover about college?

Jen Bancroft: That I liked Tom Moore.

Tom Bancroft: She, she discovered that she’s actually 90 years old back then too. And she,

Jen Bancroft: oh yeah. That’s,

Tom Bancroft: she didn’t like partying. She didn’t like Right.

Jen Bancroft: Staying. I, I was always the first one in my, I liked, I’m a homebody, which is weird ’cause I never would’ve thought that, ’cause I’m pretty social, but, um,

Tom Bancroft: yeah.

Jen Bancroft: But yeah, I was always the first one to bed in my dorm and stuff like that.

I just wasn’t, I’ve not built to be up late. That’s just not who I am. I’m not built to be up early either. Just to clarify, I’m just built to be friends with my pillow.

Tom Bancroft: And meanwhile, I bump into one of our kind of mutual friends, but kind of closer to, to Jen.

Jen Bancroft: Oh, don’t go into all this

Tom Bancroft: from high school. I won’t name names.

Jen Bancroft: Okay.

Tom Bancroft: And we, I immediately start dating her. She liked me all along. I didn’t know it. And so she kind of, you know, came on to me, I guess is the word. I don’t know. Oh

Jen Bancroft: my gosh. No.

Tom Bancroft: Uh, I, and so I, I, I went along with it. I, [00:20:00] I, um, but I, I really liked her too, and looked, I started dating her, um, and, and that she got very serious, I’ll say.

And then, um, a few months went by and Jen calls me one night, I’m,

Jen Bancroft: I think it was a couple weeks.

Tom Bancroft: Well, we’ll say. Yeah. So some time goes by and she called me and it was, yeah, it was a lot sooner than I thought it would ever. I didn’t know it would happen, but she calls me and says, can I meet you? I’m coming home this weekend.

To do laundry and stuff and, uh, see her family. Um, and would you, would you meet with me after your work shift? I was doing like the late shift. I was a security guard, believe it or not, at a hospital,

Jen Bancroft: which is a whole nother set of stories you don’t wanna hear.

Tom Bancroft: I’m not gonna go there. But I lost that job. I, even though I was trying.

Um, and so anyway, I come home off after my shift. It’s, it’s probably like midnight, one o’clock. Right. And I met with you.

Jen Bancroft: No, I think you called in sick when I got home.

Tom Bancroft: But, and she had told me, I wanna get back together with [00:21:00] you. So I knew what this was about. And she said, will you come and meet with me? I, before my shift started, I went and goes, I went to the girl that I was dating at the time and I broke up with her.

Jen Bancroft: That’s so

Tom Bancroft: weird. So that I could then meet with Jen later. ’cause I knew right away I wanted to be with Jen. And, and when she said that to me, it was cemented in my mind that, oh my gosh, she wants to get back to, I didn’t see it coming. Uh, because literally she would be like, we’d be, we were talking like we didn’t like distance ourselves.

We were like acting like we were friends and we would call and talk all the time. She’d call me almost every day it felt like. Um, and I would call her and, but when we’d get on the phone, she’d be telling me about some guy she went out with the night before and I’d be like, can we not talk about this? I really don’t wanna hear about this guy.

And she’d be like, oh no, it was just for fun and all that. And I’m like, I don’t wanna hear about that kind of fun. I mean, I was still liking her a lot. And so she was trying to pretend to herself [00:22:00] fair to say that, oh yeah, we’re separated and we could just be friends. But in her mind, I think in her heart, it was more than that.

Jen Bancroft: I think you’re,

Tom Bancroft: this is what I remember.

Jen Bancroft: You’re like analyzing me.

Tom Bancroft: I know. Well, and so

Jen Bancroft: I think I realized what I had in Tom.

Tom Bancroft: That’s what I just said. Yeah. Right.

Dawn Pruszkowski: So then how, how did you, so you guys got back together,

Jen Bancroft: Uhhuh.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Yeah. And then how did you navigate the rest of college or,

Jen Bancroft: uh, we just traveled, like I would come home once a month, whatever, and he would go up to see

Tom Bancroft: Chris.

No, from where we were living was what, six hours?

Jen Bancroft: Four or four hours.

Tom Bancroft: Really?

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Because it seemed like forever anyway. Yeah. It was a drive back and forth, and that’s what we would do. Yeah. I would drive there and, and see her. She would drive Most of the time we

Jen Bancroft: saw each other probably every two weeks, every three weeks

maybe.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: But it was, what was that a year?

Jen Bancroft: Uh, I stayed at Fresno for two and a half more years.

Tom Bancroft: Two and a half. Wow. Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. We did that. And then, [00:23:00] um, I was a, I was a deaf ed major back then. And so I was part of communication Sciences and disorders was, um, what I was part of. And I, on an internship when I was back home over the summer, um, I met someone who was a speech pathologist and said, Hey, you know, there’s a great deaf studies program at Cal State Northridge.

Have you ever thought about that? And so I transferred to Northridge and went to that program. Um, and like all of my teachers were deaf. There were a lot of deaf students on campus. My degree ended up being in deaf studies. So it was, it was really a great experience, but it also brought me closer to him.

’cause at the time he was at Cal Arts.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, I, I had kind of progressed and started to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Found out about a school, California Institute of the Arts. And it was in Valencia, which happened to be very close to Northridge. Where you,

Jen Bancroft: well you were already at Valencia

Tom Bancroft: and then Yeah.

Was, but then she moved there and so now we were kind of,

Jen Bancroft: for about a year,

Tom Bancroft: we were a lot closer.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. Until he, until he left for the internship. Then I finished my, my four year degree. And then we got

Tom Bancroft: what, internship? [00:24:00] What are you talking about?

Jen Bancroft: Disney?

Tom Bancroft: Oh, you gotta say that. You’re, you’re jumping around.

Dawn Pruszkowski: That’s so, okay. So your internship was at Disney?

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: His was

okay.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, his was okay. How? I got an in internship at Disney and that’s what led me into getting a job at Disney, uh, for the next 12. 13 years, something like that. Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: And so, so he had an internship that started in like January and went through March.

Then he finished the internship and then they moved them to open the studios in, in May of 1989. And we got married July 1st of 89. And then we drove out to, uh, to Florida.

Tom Bancroft: And, and the them that she’s referring to is me and my brother. We both got hired for the same internship and both passed that internship and got the job in Florida.

So we moved out together. Me and my twin got an apartment, and meanwhile we had gotten engaged. We jumped over that.

Jen Bancroft: But wait, we got [00:25:00] engaged before you even started your internship,

Tom Bancroft: right? Right. And so a year

Jen Bancroft: before

Tom Bancroft: the plan was, and we could go back to that engagement, but the plan was, was that Tony and I would live together for a few months and then I would go back, get married, and then come back to Disney with her.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Okay. So let’s hear about the proposal then.

Tom Bancroft: Let’s

Dawn Pruszkowski: hear about, I wanna hear proposal and I need to, I need to, I’m trying to figure out the time timeframe of this. Okay, so the

Jen Bancroft: proposal was February 13th, 1988.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, it

Jen Bancroft: was

Tom Bancroft: 88,

Jen Bancroft: 19 88. And so, um. So I was going to Northridge at the time and I was working at JC Penney’s at the mall there in Northridge.

And Tom was a full-time and I was a full-time student. He was a full-time student. Um, but he didn’t work while he was a full-time student because they were drawing so much, or at least that’s what he told me really was a lot of work going, a lot of movies. But

Tom Bancroft: it was at [00:26:00] movies in a lot of work. Yeah, yeah.

Jen Bancroft: In animation. Yeah. He could have had a job. Um, but, um, big, but, uh, if it was our kids, he would make sure they had a job. Let’s just say it that way.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Um, anyway, and so I was, I was the working and it was Valentine’s Day and we had talked about getting married, uh, you know, like for a long time. But you know, I mean, obviously we weren’t in any place to be getting married.

We were both midway through school, had no money.

Tom Bancroft: And by this point we were dating for

Jen Bancroft: four years.

Tom Bancroft: It had been,

Jen Bancroft: yeah, four

Tom Bancroft: years.

Jen Bancroft: Uh, Tom didn’t have a job. Um, and so, so I took us out to a very nice restaurant for dinner, um, and, and paid for it and bought a very cheap little bottle of champagne, like those little ones.

Um, oh. And it was terrible. I didn’t even like, ugh, it was awful.

Tom Bancroft: No, it was terrible.

Jen Bancroft: And, and it was just supposed to be like a valentine’s, like a fun thing, you know? It was nothing. Uh, it was, it was not. It was not an anticipation of any big night. It was just for fun.

Tom Bancroft: It was Valentine’s.

Jen Bancroft: It was Valentine’s.

Tom Bancroft: So [00:27:00] we were gonna go back to the dormitory.

Jen Bancroft: No, we were, you want, you kept wanting to like walk around, but it was like the Santa Ana’s. Oh yeah. It was freezing. Okay. Santa Ana winds,

Tom Bancroft: lemme take this part.

Jen Bancroft: Okay.

Tom Bancroft: So I had called my mom earlier that day and had decided. I’m gonna ask Jen to marry me. This

Jen Bancroft: is, but who didn’t you call

Tom Bancroft: this perfect timing?

I did not call your parents.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: This, I know nowadays, especially here in the south, you, you asked, but in California in those days, it

Jen Bancroft: wasn’t such a big deal,

Tom Bancroft: right? It really

Jen Bancroft: wasn’t.

Tom Bancroft: She, she agrees. Uh, you didn’t go to the parents. It, that was an old fashioned thing that was still alive in the south, and we found that out later.

So like all of our girls, the ones that have gotten married, the guy has come to me and asked for their hand first. It’s very traditional. I love that about the south. But that was not California. I don’t even know if it’s still California. Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: It wasn’t an expectation. Yeah. For, I mean, I never thought about that, so obviously wasn’t an expectation.

Tom Bancroft: So that was one thing I didn’t. It wasn’t too big of a problem. Um, but everything [00:28:00] else went wrong. So I, I had told my mom, I don’t have a ring and all that, but she’s like, don’t worry, she, if she loves you, she’ll say yes anyway, blah, blah, blah. And so, because it was Valentine’s, because Jen had already kind of made a really nice Valentine’s out of it,

Jen Bancroft: which I thought was just Valentine’s,

Tom Bancroft: I just thought, I’m just gonna make the most of it.

Tonight’s the night. And so, uh, didn’t have a ring, didn’t have anything. And, uh, just high hopes. And we go out to dinner. We have a great time. I am thinking, should I have called the waiter first, but then he’d have to have a ring and I don’t have a ring. And anyway, I didn’t put enough thought into it, obviously

Jen Bancroft: little impulsive

Tom Bancroft: and it, like she said, it was November.

Jen Bancroft: No, it’s February, babe.

Tom Bancroft: Oh, okay. I thought you said, I think it’s in November.

Jen Bancroft: No, ’cause Valenti, it’s Valentine’s

Tom Bancroft: Valenti. Okay. Oh, that’s true. February.

Jen Bancroft: Um, this is what we still live with,

Tom Bancroft: which is still cold outside. That’s my only point. It’s very cold. Uh, and so we, we get out of the, we get outta the restaurant.

She, IM, and I’m like [00:29:00] looking at, it was like up in the hills, so like there’s a nice few, oh, it was really pretty. All that, it was kind of lit. And I was like, this is it. But as soon as we come out, she’s like, oh, it’s freezing. I’m running to the car and she runs to the car. I’m like, uh, there’s this stuff.

Don’t you wanna see this view? No, no, no, no, no. I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I’m

Dawn Pruszkowski: cold.

Tom Bancroft: She’s cold. So she runs to the car, we get in the car and I’m like, fumbling with the keys. And I’m thinking, is this the moment? But she’s like, oh, it’s scary here. Let’s go. You know? It was, it was a little creepy. It was very dark.

And I’m just like, okay. And then the whole way home coming down this mountain, because we’re kind of in the hills. Going to Cal Arts, my dorm. ’cause that’s the next option in front of me is the dorm room. Uh, I’m trying to find like romantic spots to pull over and stuff. There’s none there. It is just, it’s just like a cliff.

And there was nowhere safe to do it. Plus it was just pitch black. And I’m just like, I can’t do this and I don’t wanna do, [00:30:00] so I go, okay, I’m gonna do it in the dorm room. And so I finally get there. We get out, we run ’cause it’s cold. We run to the the dorm

Jen Bancroft: room. Well, yeah, yeah. I think you thought, oh, let’s, maybe we could walk around the school.

But then it was cold.

Tom Bancroft: I, yeah, I think I threw that one out too. No, I wanna just go to the room. And we had those little champagne, so I’m like, okay, this is. Could be maybe in a different area, a time and place. This could be romantic. Okay. And so we’re popping the horrible champagne. Immediately. I give it to her, she’s like, ah, this is horrible, awful.

Everything’s awful going wrong. I, and so literally,

Jen Bancroft: and you told all your, your friends,

Tom Bancroft: I’d already told all my friends, my roommates to like distance, don’t come to the dorm room ’cause so, you know, this was gonna be his

Jen Bancroft: proposal,

Tom Bancroft: my backup plan, you know, for the proposal. And so I at least had that sort of semi planned.

Um, but everything goes wrong. And she’s just not in the mood to talk about, to talk or anything. And so [00:31:00] literally, uh, I just, we sit down on this seedy little couch that we have in the dorm room and I ask her to marry me. Um, and fortunately she said, yes,

Jen Bancroft: I did. ’cause I loved him. He was awesome.

Tom Bancroft: She immediately said yes, which was amazing.

Um. Now since then, the rumor has it. I didn’t get on my knees. I didn’t, I did it wrong.

Jen Bancroft: Well, ’cause you told Okay, can I tell him why?

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. Why?

Jen Bancroft: Because for years Tom always told me he would never get down on the knees to beg to, to beg a girl, to marry him. See sort of a jerk.

Tom Bancroft: And it was a jerk line, but, and I’m usually romantic, but I had that weird kind of thought in my head

Jen Bancroft: and now he’s like, if some guy didn’t get on the knees for my girls.

Tom Bancroft: That’s right.

Jen Bancroft: You know? So different.

Tom Bancroft: I see it differently now. Obviously I had some learning, but,

Jen Bancroft: uh, but he’s, he was honestly, I mean, even though he said that he was, he’s always been the best hubby, he’s just

Tom Bancroft: naive, kind of a viewpoint,

Jen Bancroft: but he’s always been the very best hubby.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. Well, thank you.

Jen Bancroft: You’re welcome.

Announcer: How do you know when you’re falling in love? [00:32:00] Join us for the Love Unexpected podcast. This true life romantic journey dives into the whirlwind story of how one woman’s life miraculously transformed leading her across the sea, where she discovered the love she didn’t expect. Listen now on your favorite podcast platform.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Okay? So it’s Valentine’s Day, you say. Yes.

Jen Bancroft: Yes.

Dawn Pruszkowski: And so now you have to think about planning a wedding and you’re still in school. What, how did that go?

Jen Bancroft: Oh, that was easy. ’cause my mom had helped so much. I mean, it was, you know, like it was 18 months later.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. We, we made it a long engagement. Yeah. So that she could, uh,

Jen Bancroft: graduate, because I, I, I was only a junior, so the only hard part was that I.

As far as like getting ready to get married was one, is he, he had the pressure of he had to find a job so that, you know, we could get married and, um,

Tom Bancroft: yeah. By the way, I [00:33:00] had no job when we got engaged thing, and then, then literally, I, and this was a god thing. I, I got into the internship to Disney, uh, soon after we got,

Jen Bancroft: no, a year after.

Tom Bancroft: Oh, a year after.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Right. The next year. Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Um, and so that.

Jen Bancroft: And he did ask my mom and dad and yeah. And we told my mom and dad, so I was gonna be a a that

Tom Bancroft: was tough.

Jen Bancroft: Teacher of deaf children. And uh, and Tom was going to do some art. We didn’t know what Tommy

Tom Bancroft: was gonna be. An artist.

Jen Bancroft: An artist. And um, and they, my dad said, what are you guys gonna live off of?

’cause he was so concerned about like, you know, finances. And, um, and I, and I said something like, dad, we love each other. It doesn’t matter. We’re gonna live off love. And so every, every time my dad see, like my Tom and my dad are close, and I mean, they have a great relationship. My dad’s always saying, Hey Tom, how’s that love going for you?

You know, after raising four kids. And I know. So

Tom Bancroft: I’m like, look around,

Jen Bancroft: look at the palace.

Tom Bancroft: Right? [00:34:00] No. Yeah. So, and I, and I remember I had to go to him and tell him. Well, that we just got engaged and that was how it went. It wasn’t asking his hand, it was just,

Jen Bancroft: yeah, he probably should have done it that way.

Tom Bancroft: Hey, we’re gonna get married.

I don’t know why he didn’t freak out more than he did, honestly, because I look back at that and I go, if that was me and my daughters, I’d be like, what? You know? Um, but they, they never saw it coming. They always saw it. Even though this is four years in, they always kind of thought we were just. You know, it was just dating on and off and we’d broken up briefly and gotten back together.

And so they just sort of saw it as a casual,

Jen Bancroft: think

Tom Bancroft: more casual.

Jen Bancroft: I, they were hoping I wasn’t gonna marry an artist, is what I think. We were hoping

Tom Bancroft: they never saw it coming and, which is weird ’cause after four years Yeah. But yeah. Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: We were both like, why are you so shocked? We’ve been together for four years.

Tom Bancroft: I know.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: It was obvious to us.

Jen Bancroft: And my mom and dad were high school sweethearts and they, they have a great marriage. They’ve been married for 60 plus years today. Mm-hmm. And, you know, they’re 81 and [00:35:00] 79 and doing great. So, um, you know, like we sort of thought, well, you know, if you guys did it, we could do it.

So,

Tom Bancroft: but one, one day she decides she’s gonna become a Baptist. She, she wants to join and we’re not engaged or anything. We’re just dating at this part. Yeah. This point. I mean, we were in love and there’s no doubt about it, but like, so she becomes Baptist and that was a harder discussion going to her dad.

Jen Bancroft: You didn’t do that?

Tom Bancroft: Well, I heard about it, uh, but my name came up a lot. Um. Her having to then talk to her dad and say, I’m gonna leave the Catholic church and join this other church that my boyfriend is a part of this Baptist church. Like, I can’t believe that they went for that even more. They weren’t happy about that than our engagement

Jen Bancroft: weren.

Yeah. Yeah. They weren’t happy about that. But, um, but it’s funny because, you know, then as we got married and they saw us continue, I think my dad’s big concern was that that was, you know, like I think my dad’s concern was, you know, are you gonna follow Jesus long term? You know what I mean? And so, like, he’s definitely, [00:36:00] you know, he has said to me early in our marriage, you know, I, you know, I talked to you and Tom and know you guys are in church on Sundays, and, you know, he’s like, that’s really all that’s important to me.

So, you know, he definitely came to terms with it. Mm-hmm. Much, you know, I think when he saw that it was a real faith and, and we were gonna continue in the faith, you know, that he, even though it wasn’t at a Catholic church, it was still the, the same faith that he had. Mm-hmm. I think he was much, then he was fine with it.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. Or acted that way.

Jen Bancroft: Oh,

Dawn Pruszkowski: wonderful. Okay. So you waited till you graduated?

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Dawn Pruszkowski: To get married? Yes. Yep. And so, uh, it was there in California, the wedding. It was in California

Jen Bancroft: and we got married. Yeah. And, uh, we got on, we got married on a Saturday, and

Tom Bancroft: I feel like I should tell the wedding story now. Oh.

Because that’s what we’re here for, right? Okay. Go ahead. This is okay. I’m gonna try and do the short version, but

Jen Bancroft: please. Okay.

Tom Bancroft: Our wedding did not go off with a hitch, just like our [00:37:00] engagement was a disaster. I somehow made

Jen Bancroft: our wedding was great. The day before the wedding was not so great.

Tom Bancroft: Yes, yes. I, we probably won’t even talk about the actual wedding.

That was easy. Um, but we hadn’t seen each other for about three months. I was in Florida, working at Disney, starting my career there. She was finishing up college and graduating. I didn’t even go to your graduation. Yeah. Did I? Yeah. And because we were saving money like crazy, um, uh, we were trying to, we wanted to buy a house right away and things like that.

And so I’m living in an apartment with my brother and we’re having buddy time all the time going to movies and all that, and so. As we got closer to the time for the wedding, our little studio at Disney, Florida was very tight. It was all, a lot of young people, primarily like dating and getting married, and so we kind of grew up together.

But even three months in, it was a pretty tight group. And, and it was small too, so like there’s maybe 80 people at the studio. And [00:38:00] so they decide, they got all excited, they were all excited. They thought the twins were cute and all that. And one of ’em was getting married, me and Tony was gonna be the best man.

And so they, they said, let’s, let’s, they surprised me and they threw a big party. The whole studio came together in this conference room. They got a belly

Jen Bancroft: dancer.

Tom Bancroft: It was a belly dancer, not a stripper, but this was a weird time in Disney where you could just do that. And so they got a belly dancer. They embarrassed me and all that.

At one point, they, they said, Tom, can you sit down in the middle? Uh, you know, of the studio here and, um, we have something we wanna tell you. And, and so I go, okay. And I sit down and literally the whole studio’s there watching and they, they say, can you put on this blindfold? And I put on the blindfold like an idiot, and my brother’s kind of doing this.

Her, him and a couple friends are the ones that are doing this. And then all of a sudden somebody grabs my arms and then grabs my legs [00:39:00] and that, and I’m trapped. And they, they, they start, um, oh, I back, I need to back up. Um, they’d also said, now that you’re blindfolded, can you come to the bathroom? And before that, and so they took me into the bathroom.

They said, here, you gotta put this on. And I couldn’t see what it was, but I’m like, I’m just playing along. I’m just thinking it’s some embarrassing, like grooms, you know, like a tuxedo kind of thing. ’cause I’m getting married. And then, uh. So then I, they walk me back. Then they do the, the chair thing. They grab me and then I hear this chain and a clink and a clunk, and boom, they take off the, uh, the blindfold.

And I, I get up and I’m in a gel outfit, and I have literally a chain and a ball tied to my leg chain,

Jen Bancroft: A bowling ball that’s been,

Tom Bancroft: it’s soldered filled a bowl to

Jen Bancroft: a chain.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. Literally they put a little work into this. It was like a, a, you know, we’ll say six eight pound B bowling ball. And it’s literally locked to my [00:40:00] ankles.

And I’m now wearing basic, basically pajamas that they made into a gel outfit, you know, with a number on the back and stripes and the whole bit black and white stripes. And they go, surprise. And I’m like, ha ha. And we’re laughing and, you know, balling chain. I get it. Okay. Ha ha. And we kind of party a little bit more with some punch and stuff, and, and then they say, okay, well part of it is.

Tonight. Literally, I was gonna leave in a few hours to go to get on the airplane to, it was the night, the day before our wedding. Right? Two

Dawn Pruszkowski: days. It was two days before.

Tom Bancroft: Two days before. And the plan was, was that I was supposed to go the night before. We hadn’t seen each other in three, three, uh, three months.

So we were gonna have some kissy time and dinner and all that. And I wanted the kissy time. I mean, I’m just saying. I know. And, and I, and then the next day we would get up, uh, we were stay at my parents’ house and [00:41:00] then at her parents’ house, the next day we get up and we would decorate the Old Baptist church.

’cause that’s what you did. You know, you, uh, you all got together and decorated the reception hall, you know, for the reception. It was one of those very simple weddings.

Jen Bancroft: That one was, we had another, we had two receptions.

Tom Bancroft: Right, because your parents wanted alcohol

Jen Bancroft: and dancing.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. So anyway, so now they go, okay, so here’s the plan.

You and Tony are gonna go back on the plane tonight. ’cause he was my best man, so he is coming with me. And don’t worry, somebody at the studio had a, a contact with, uh, with Delta Airlines and they said, we’ve already worked it out with Delta. They’re gonna, this is all pre nine 11. This would never happen nowadays.

But back then they said, you know, we’ve worked it out with them. Security knows somebody’s gonna meet you at the gate. And, um, because they said we’re not gonna take the chain off.

Jen Bancroft: They had [00:42:00] sent me the key. In California, FedExed it to me.

Tom Bancroft: That’s what my brother said. He said, we already snail mailed the key.

Jen Bancroft: No, they FedExed it,

Tom Bancroft: FedExed it to Jennifer, she’ll get it today. It, and there was a note in there that she was, it was gonna be, all I

Jen Bancroft: said to me was bring it to the airport.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. And now remember, this is before cell phones, so it’s not like I’m gonna be like texting. Do you got it? Really? What’s happening?

I did talk to her and she said, yeah, I got this key. And then I explained to her, um, you know about the,

Jen Bancroft: you didn’t tell me anything.

Tom Bancroft: No, I didn’t.

Jen Bancroft: No.

Tom Bancroft: Oh, okay. So she didn’t know. We didn’t get to talk. Um, and so I’m just like, are you kidding me? Is this gonna work? They assured me, oh, no, security’s gonna. And so sure enough, I’m carrying a bowling ball still in the out jail outfit as I go to the airport that night and I’m walking through the airport and sure enough, there’s a security guard and he greets Tony Eye and he says.

Ha ha ha. He’s cracking up. He thinks it’s the best thing in the world. Somebody from the studio was there and they were taking pictures and all that. And so like everybody [00:43:00] was in on this. And um, and so I’m just like, okay, I guess we’re gonna do this. And so, and chains and everything still connected. We get through security.

He just walks us through like it’s nothing. And, and then we get to the gate and they go, okay, well you guys stay here off to the side. We gotta board everybody and then we’ll bring you on last. And meanwhile we’re talking up the stewardesses and stuff that are checking people in. They think it’s hilarious, all that.

Um, then it’s time for us to go on, we’re the last people on. So as these security guards are ex escorting, me and my brother onto the plane, the whole plane is looking at us all. First class that we walk through and all that, they’re all just like, ’cause I look like I’m a a, an actual. You know, in the, I’m in a jail outfit.

Mm-hmm. With a chain and ball carrying the ball in. And what we found out a moment later was as that security guy left and those other stewardesses that were at the [00:44:00] gate, they all leave. They had not told anybody on the flight that this was going down, meaning the pilot and the stewardesses on the flight.

They didn’t know about it. And so we sit down and now the stewardesses that were there, they kind of explain it to these stewardesses, but they thought, okay, the joke’s over. So as they come over, they start going, okay, sir, we’re gonna need you to take that off right now. Tony steps in. He’s like, oh yeah, sorry.

We can’t, here’s the thing, meld the meld the key. So it’s a big joke and everything. Don’t worry. Uh, you know, it’s fine. They go back, they start talking to other sec, you know, um, stewardess, and you could see them sort of talking and getting frustrated. And then another one comes by with the other lady and they’re now, they’re like a little more upset and they’re like, uh, I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to take that off.

And my understanding is, is that you’re saying you don’t have a key for it. And by then I’ve like put it [00:45:00] underneath the front and I’m like, look, no, it’s tucked under, we’re good. And she, and so at one point she leans in and she goes, I want you to know that you, we can’t leave until you take this off because of security reasons and all that.

Even that even back then, they were not gonna do that. And so,

Jen Bancroft: well, ’cause if you, something about, if the, if the flight went down over water, like they drowned,

Tom Bancroft: right? So that’s what she said. She said, well, if we, if we get out on the water and they never talked like this, which is true, you’re, you’re gonna drown because that’s you, you don’t, and Tony said.

Oh, don’t worry, I’ll help him.

Jen Bancroft: Which is ridiculous.

Tom Bancroft: And then she leads into him and she goes, what if you are dead already? She, they were deathly serious at this point. And so Tony freaks out and so he starts, she leaves, she says, I’m gonna go talk to the pilot. And, and he’s upset By this time we’re already taxiing away from the gate and we’re heading down to, you know, to the [00:46:00] runway.

And we actually got to the runway. And now she’s like freaking out. ’cause they’re like, we can’t leave until this is off. We’re holding up the whole plane at this point. And so she goes to, she goes, tell me one more time, do you have a key that can, you know that we can take this off? Otherwise we’re gonna have to turn the plane around because the pilot now knows about it and he’s upset and we are not leaving until this is off.

And Tony goes, no, we don’t. And I could see on Tony’s face for the first time. He’s lying and so she goes, alright, that’s it. I’m, you guys are getting off this plane. The plane starts turning off the runway back to the gate and I’m freaking out. They’re gonna throw us off this plane. Tony is sweating. And I start to, for the first time I realized, wait a second, there’s something up.

And I said, Tony, do you have another key? And he goes, yeah. And he pulls out a backup key. He didn’t wanna do it ’cause he [00:47:00] wanted to take this joke all the way to the end and have that moment with Jen where she sees him. ’cause she, that was the other thing. I wasn’t supposed to call her. She, it was gonna be a big surprise to her.

And so now we’re, we’re getting to the, and Tony goes, I gotta go say something. He gets up and he starts darting toward these stewardesses and he’s like, just take me off. I’ll look. And he’d already unchanged it. So he’s like, look, it’s off and uh, just take me off. I’ll take the bowling ball and we’ll, we’ll go take him.

He’s getting married in two days. He’s gotta go. And he’s like, really upset. And I felt for him only because he’d taken it way too far and he would just, so here we are now. The plane ends up back at the gate. The lady goes, I’m sorry, you both are leaving the captain’s upset. He doesn’t trust you guys by now.

They think we’re all terrorists. Everybody is looking at us. The whole plane is just terrified that are we getting, you know, taking over by this guy from jail and in his inept security guard. [00:48:00] And so we get to the gate. Now, the guy that was, thought it was funny, the security guy that got us on, on board, he’s been yelled at obviously because he op the door’s open and he comes on and he’s in a huff.

He’s upset. He’s like, come on, let’s go. Because he’s, people have yelled at him already at this point, and so they take us off. We leave and everything is, and this was the last flight of the evening too. And so we get to the, uh, front desk and there’s the, the one of the stewardesses that helped board us.

She’s now very serious too. And like, hmm, she’s been yelled at. And so now the plane leaves and I’m just sitting there going, I gotta call Jen. The lady’s like, all right, well, you can use this phone here. And they’re, uh, she’s typing, trying to find out when we can get back out there again. And I’m calling Jen and I called Jen, and she’s, she instantly, as soon as she heard my voice on the phone, she get, she starts crying

Jen Bancroft: because I knew he’d missed the plane, which knowing Tom’s [00:49:00] other stories.

Was a very likely thing. Anyway,

Tom Bancroft: things happen, right? And so

Jen Bancroft: mm-hmm.

Tom Bancroft: She starts crying. I’m like, no, babe, I’m sorry. I, uh, no, no, no. Don’t get upset. I, no, no, no. I’ll be there as soon as I can. The lady, that’s the reception, the, that was the stewardess that was helping us. She starts melting. She hears that. I’m talking to my wife, my fiance, that we’re supposed to get married in two days, and she’s crying.

She’s like, tell her, oh, here we go. Tell her that we can go tomorrow morning as soon as we can. The first flight is 8:00 AM Oh, and we’ll put you up in a hotel tonight. And she’s like, trying to help like crazy because she hears my fiance crying on the phone.

Jen Bancroft: Mm-hmm.

Tom Bancroft: And so, yeah, sure enough, we did get on the plane.

We left the ball behind. I don’t even know what happened to that.

Jen Bancroft: No, it came with you.

Tom Bancroft: That’s true. It did. I don’t know why we would’ve brought that with us.

Jen Bancroft: I have no

Tom Bancroft: idea. But it did. My, my mom has it, I think to this day in the garage somewhere. Uh, but we dressed normal, got on the flight and, and got home.

And [00:50:00] literally by the time we landed and got there, we’d already missed helping to decorate the church. Yeah. And I saw her for a few hours before.

Dawn Pruszkowski: No kissy face.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. Two kisses. And then I’m back at my house and she leaves and I don’t, I see her the next morning when we get married. So that was,

Dawn Pruszkowski: and everything in the w wedding goes off fine.

Okay.

Tom Bancroft: Oh, compared to that? It was, yeah. Everything was easy. No, there was a, there

Jen Bancroft: was no

Tom Bancroft: problems with the

Jen Bancroft: wedding at all

Tom Bancroft: that I guess you and your mom.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. I had no idea. It was all good.

Jen Bancroft: It was a fun wedding.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. The rest worked. Yeah,

Jen Bancroft: we did

Dawn Pruszkowski: Anything, anything, anything special in the wedding.

Jen Bancroft: Uh, I just heard song.

You’re the inspiration from Chicago, even to this day. We still love that song.

Tom Bancroft: That’s our song. Yep. Yeah. We’ve seen, uh, Chicago in concert since then and, and still

Jen Bancroft: our song

Tom Bancroft: Dance to that song. Yep. Outdoors. That was really cool.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. No, it’s, uh, it was a great wedding.

Tom Bancroft: Mm-hmm.

Jen Bancroft: It was really fun.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Good. [00:51:00] Perfect.

Perfect. Okay, so right now I’m gonna say, friends, I invite you to see more of Tom and Jennifer’s wedding photos and more. They have a whole episode page dedicated to them on our website, unexpected love stories.com. Just click the link in the show notes before if below, and it’ll take you right to their page.

Alright, so tell me, did you have a honeymoon? Did you finally get to do some kissy face?

Tom Bancroft: Uh, yeah. Yeah, that happened.

Jen Bancroft: Our

Tom Bancroft: honeymoon

Jen Bancroft: was driving across the country.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, we, I don’t know why. Well, I had to get back to work.

Jen Bancroft: We had

Tom Bancroft: no, yeah. And we had no money. I didn’t, I didn’t have vacation time. I’d only been there for three months and we had no money and we were saving, like I said, for a house and stuff.

Yeah. I

Jen Bancroft: think you were still on like probation or whatever.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah,

Jen Bancroft: yeah.

Tom Bancroft: I didn’t like officially have the job. It, they could have got rid of me.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Um, so yeah, none of that had kicked in. So I literally only had that weekend. Uh, well, we did take a few days.

Jen Bancroft: The next week we, yeah, we drove the whole next week from, uh, California to, to Orlando.

Which

Tom Bancroft: with a bunch [00:52:00] of stuff in the back and all that. And, and literally, and I still don’t get this, but I, I guess we just couldn’t afford it. We didn’t make any reservations along the way. It wasn’t like we were staying at really nice hotels, you know? Well, like

Jen Bancroft: you’d never done I 10. There’s really

Tom Bancroft: no, we just were driving for as long as we could that day and we’d kind of look on the map.

This is maps back in the map days and go mm-hmm. This next town looks like it’s kind of bigger. Let’s, let’s stop there. Oh,

Jen Bancroft: we stayed at, we stayed at, in West Texas. We stayed in like a truck stop, like literally it was getting dark and there was a hotel and like one of those big gas stations that had like, somewhat food.

Um, and we stayed in Deming, New Mexico for, uh, July 4th.

Tom Bancroft: July 4th.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. And, um, that was, there wasn’t even a stoplight in that town.

Tom Bancroft: That was where, but we could see fireworks from the distance.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: From a farm.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. And we, um, then we went through Houston and then we went to, uh, Biloxi, Mississippi, because all of this is on I [00:53:00] 10.

And we got out, we stayed at a Holiday Inn in Biloxi, Mississippi, on the ocean. And um, and we got out and we touched the water and we could not believe how warm it was because it was the Gulf of Mexico. And, you know, Pacific is frigid. So, you know, like we were, we were standing in the water.

Tom Bancroft: That’s Gulf of America.

Gulf of America now.

Jen Bancroft: Okay. Whatever. Uh, but it was, oh my gosh. I remember thinking, this is so cool. The water’s so warm.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: And uh,

Tom Bancroft: and I do remember during, we went through Arizona before that and, uh, it was so hot.

Jen Bancroft: Oh. We melted our tires.

Tom Bancroft: We melted all four of our tires.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: And had to get all four of ’em replaced.

Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: With some of their gift cards we’d gotten from our wedding.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. We had Sears gift cards, I think, with us that we paid for it with those gift cards. Yeah. Yeah. It was nuts.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Wow. So that’s great.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah, it was fun

Tom Bancroft: actually. We look back with really warm, romantic thoughts about [00:54:00] that, that trip.

Jen Bancroft: And wait, we ate the, probably the best food we had on the thing was, what did we eat in, in Orlando all the time with the green, um,

Tom Bancroft: uh, the East Rolls?

Jen Bancroft: No, no. What was it was, uh, it was like a Friday Be but

Tom Bancroft: Bennigans. Yeah,

Jen Bancroft: Bennigans. We ate at a bennigans in Houston, Texas.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: Un under like a little freeway. You know how they do that in, in, uh, Texas. They have a lot of freeway off ramps and we thought we were like, big time. ’cause it was a, it was good food.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: And you should have seen what we were eating before then.

Tom Bancroft: It was not a foodie kind of an experience at all. Not

Jen Bancroft: at all.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. So, no, I mean, it was, it was very,

Jen Bancroft: it was rough,

Tom Bancroft: but we had

Jen Bancroft: fun.

Tom Bancroft: About a year later we did go to Hawaii, so we took kind of what we called our second honeymoon, uh, and went to Hawaii to see her friend that lived there and stayed with them.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: And then, so it was still a lean trip, but it was Hawaii.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. And then we, and when we’ve been married 10 years, we went to Hawaii again. Mm-hmm. Um, and then on our 25th anniversary, he spoke, uh, over in Florence, Italy. And we [00:55:00] met friends over there and became good friends with them and have gone now to Florence a bunch of times.

But, um, that was our big 25th anniversary trip, so That

Tom Bancroft: was

Jen Bancroft: awesome.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. It was paid for fortunately. Yeah. So, yeah. So

Jen Bancroft: it was fun.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: We’ve had a lot.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Wonderful. So, and, and you guys, your lives have grown and changed so much since then. Oh

Jen Bancroft: yeah.

Tom Bancroft: It has. I mean, you know, we thought we had it all figured out and that’s, and this is the God, part of it is like, you know, you find out, and I tell students this all the time, is that, you know, life isn’t a straight line.

You may plan a straight line, but you’re gonna do this. You’re gonna go all around and then probably, maybe even still end up in the same destination. But if you are a believer and you’re seeking God, it’ll be a better destination, most likely. Yeah. Um, and you’re gonna find along the way, and you may just change course completely.

Never have seen it coming. Now Jen and I were very fortunate. Our, our kids are still [00:56:00] shocked by it. The things that we said we wanted to be and do when we were kids.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Her, you know, speech therapy.

Jen Bancroft: I wanted to be more of a deaf educator, but I went into speech pathology. Once I, real, I didn’t know what speech pathology was.

Mm-hmm. Now that I’m in speech pathology, I mean, it’s everything I wanted,

Tom Bancroft: but she wanted to help people with hearing problems and things like that, so it was very closely related. I always wanted to be a cartoonist or an animator, or a comic book artist, something. I’ve ended up doing all of those things in my career.

Jen has done all those things in her career.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. We’ve done, it’s crazy what we’ve gotten.

Tom Bancroft: And even at, at 50, you know, I, I encouraged her. You did? Because she was having a struggle with it to go back and get her doctorate degree. Um, she was coming out of raising our kids. She stopped working for about 12 or.

12, 14 years.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah, I, when we first, I, I worked in a hospital and then I, uh, and after I finished my master’s degree in, in Florida, and then I stayed home for 14 years and raised our girls and [00:57:00] our, um, but I kept up my license the whole time. Um, and then our two youngest girls had speech and language disorders early on and required a lot of therapy.

And, um, um, they were in therapy from 19 months till about the end of third grade. Um, and so they were receiving a lot of therapy through the school district, um, that we lived in, in Tennessee. And um, and I saw how good it was and the caseloads were manageable and, and the great therapists that they were working with.

And I was like, well, you know what? I, when they go to school, I’m gonna go back. And so, uh, I went back and worked in uh, Williamson County for 10 years. Loved it. It was awesome. But I loved it so much that when I had students, I kept thinking, I’d really like to teach because I want other people to get to do this job.

This is a great job. And, um, and you know, I had a master’s degree and Tom was, uh, at, uh, Lipscomb and did not have a master’s degree and he was teaching and it ticked me off ’cause I was like, how can you do that? And I can’t. [00:58:00] And, um. And ’cause that, ’cause being a teacher at the college level was sort of like my big fun.

That’s what I wanted to

Tom Bancroft: do. And, and it was not my goal at all. It just, it

Jen Bancroft: wasn’t his

Tom Bancroft: goal. An opportunity came to me and I was like, sure, I’ll teach.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. And it just kicked me off. Start the innovation program off. He was doing that.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah.

Jen Bancroft: And so, so anyway, so, um, it ended up that, you know, I found out about going to Vanderbilt and, um, Vanderbilt was outside our back door and Tom did really encourage me and, um, and he had, you know, a good job with insurance and all that, being at edu you know, being at Lipscomb.

And so I went back and got my, uh, PhD and then was able to go into teaching. And I mean, I’ve loved, I’ve loved every aspect of my job. You can’t do anything better than be a speech pathologist in my mind.

Tom Bancroft: Huh,

Dawn Pruszkowski: that’s wonderful.

Tom Bancroft: Or an animator, right? Um,

Dawn Pruszkowski: yeah.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah. So is, you know, that’s a small slice of just a lot of growth having kids throughout that time of course, too.

Oh, yeah. Um, I left Disney in 2000. I won’t [00:59:00] tell the whole story, but I left for my faith and honestly after ha doing my dream job, but I felt God’s calling and we decided to go and leave and go to Chicago and work for big idea veal. And so I did that for a few years. The whole family moved there, you know, it was a very dramatic pivot, you know?

Yeah. That we never saw coming.

Jen Bancroft: That’s where we had our twins. They’re are, they’re, um,

Tom Bancroft: yeah.

Jen Bancroft: What’s it called? What do you get? They’re a souvenir from living in Chicago.

Tom Bancroft: Souvenir. Yeah,

Jen Bancroft: yeah,

Tom Bancroft: yeah, they are. Um, and you know, but then they, that went, they went bankrupt. Big idea after two and a half years of being there and, uh, doing some really good stuff.

But then. We, we were like, again, I’d never been laid off before, and it was immediately like, what do we do? And, and so God led us back to Florida. I worked on, uh, went back to Disney in my old position basically, and, and did Brother Bear. Uh, but we knew the writing was on the wall, that things were [01:00:00] different at Disney at that time.

And, and it, it didn’t look good. And so I ended up leaving after Brother Bear and starting my own company there in Florida. And then that, that company kind of became a company that we set up in Franklin, Tennessee. That, and that’s where we’ve been living now. And I’ve, um, for the last 22 years.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yep.

Tom Bancroft: At this tiny little town that we’d never heard of. It’s beautiful.

Dawn Pruszkowski: Um,

Tom Bancroft: and

Dawn Pruszkowski: it is beautiful

Tom Bancroft: Again, we just felt God was calling us. Fortunately we got a house back then, like we came with a realtor that weekend. We found this house and we’ve been in it ever since. Yeah. All the prices have gone up like crazy since then.

So we’re, we’re stuck here, basically. Stuck in heaven.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love that. Oh, I love that. Oh, do you have any final words of advice maybe for some young couple on how to keep their love growing?

Jen Bancroft: Uh, I think I

Tom Bancroft: would, don’t look at me.

Jen Bancroft: No, I was looking at the dog and you scratch

Tom Bancroft: it, right? Yeah, we do.

Jen Bancroft: Um,

Tom Bancroft: go for it. [01:01:00]

Jen Bancroft: My thing that I would say is to find, uh, someone who makes you laugh every day.

Like, because, you know, he honestly drives me crazy most days. I mean, obviously you can see the eyes I’ve been giving him throughout this like, oh my gosh. Um, but he also makes me laugh all the time. And, um, and that is the very best, if you can, if you can marry someone who makes you laugh all the time and that’s taller than you, that’s my thing.

Tom Bancroft: That helps. Uh, and mine is similar actually. I, I’m an artist, so I, and I’m an animator. I’ve always watched people, like when I go to the mall or whatever, I’m very fascinated by people acting emotions. ’cause that’s all part of what I’m trying to do in my career too. Bring characters to life. And so I enjoy Jen, I just, I haven’t figured her out.

So to me, even after 36 years, she’s still a mystery and fascinating to me. And part of that is that love of just enjoying the differences. [01:02:00] But I do think that’s key,

Jen Bancroft: actually. I think that’s more him enjoying, like, let me see how I can annoy her today.

Tom Bancroft: That too, I mean,

Jen Bancroft: that’s fine. And you know, see, see what, what happens if I do this right?

Tom Bancroft: I wonder if she’ll get mad if I do this or say this. Yeah. There’s some of that. But I will say that you have to, and I tell people this, you have to have a fascination and a wonder about your girlfriend, brother, or spouse, right. You have to think that even their faults are kind of interesting because those faults that you thought were cute when you were dating, they’re gonna drive you crazy one day right after you’ve been married for years and they, her still don’t, I, I think that she’s pretty cool and interesting and entertaining to me all the time.

Um,

Jen Bancroft: his do. His dude drives crazy.

Tom Bancroft: Yes. My fault. But yeah. But, so it’s a little easier for me, but

Jen Bancroft: it makes me laugh. Sorry. It’s all good. I

Tom Bancroft: have a, I have a fascination with people in general, and so therefore I throw it all on her and I’m just fascinated by her. But, [01:03:00] uh, I do think that you have to always kind of come back to that what was the thing that I fell in love with about that person?

And you know, obviously you got, and sometimes it evolves. It can’t be the same thing they’ve changed and the, so now maybe that thing doesn’t exist anymore.

Jen Bancroft: Yeah. I really loved his hair.

Tom Bancroft: Yeah, that’s a good example actually. Yeah. Yeah. I used to have hair.

Jen Bancroft: He used to have blonde hair. He was a cute little blonde,

tall

Tom Bancroft: guy.

It was, it was kind of like,

Jen Bancroft: yeah.

Tom Bancroft: All swishy.

Jen Bancroft: No, I really didn’t care about his hair that much, but he has balded down, so,

Tom Bancroft: but he’s a

Jen Bancroft: cute

Tom Bancroft: bald guy. Yeah, I know. Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, so, yes, uh, it’s all fascination, I guess to me.

Dawn Pruszkowski: I love it. Well, thank you guys so much for sharing your story.

Tom Bancroft: Thank you, Don.

This has been a lot of fun. Thank you

Jen Bancroft: very much.

Dawn Pruszkowski: What a pleasure. What a pleasure. Okay, guys, remember, fairytales may start with magic, but the real happily ever after is built with faith, friendship, and a [01:04:00] lifetime of love. Uh, friends, you can find out more about Tom and Jennifer and see some of their fun photos and find links to connect with them on our website, unexpected love stories.com.

Just click that website link in the show notes below. It’s gonna take you right to their special episode. And hey, wait, do you have a great love story? Share it with us on our website and maybe we’ll have you share it on our podcast. And if you enjoyed this story, then you really need to follow or subscribe to this podcast ’cause you really don’t wanna miss a single story.

’cause believe me, there are no two stories alike. This is real life. But I’ve found that every single episode. Every single story is inspiring. It’s delightful, and you’re just gonna feel great after listening to it. Speaking of that, I hope that your heart feels lighter and full of hope after hearing this story.

As you know, often the best love stories are the ones we never saw coming, so keep your heart open. [01:05:00] Love truly is waiting for you. We’ll see you next time.